Cherry Heart
by Elizabeth T. Diaries
Summary: Isabella Swan is the ultimate ingenue. It's her first day as a junior at Forks High school and Mr Cullen just happens to be her much older 27-year english literature teacher. A tale of a secret, forbidden romance. AH. *DISCONTINUED*
1. Chapter 1 - Bases

A/N – Chapters will be longer. Hope you enjoy this little tidbit I had running around in my head and review.

**DISCLAIMER: ALL BELONGS TO STEPHENIE MEYER.**

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Chapter 1: Bases

Today was my first ever day at Forks high school and I was extremely nervous to say the least. After much consideration, I decided that my mother needed to experience some freedom and alone time with her new lover Phil. It's not that I didn't get on with him, it's just that I knew I was holding her back. Renee was a free spirit and I knew she hated staying in one place for long. She wanted to travel the world and experience things and obviously, I was still in school so I couldn't do that. Plus, I didn't really want to. As much as I loved my dear mother, I was the exact _opposite _of everything that she was. I wasn't eccentric, I was shy and reserved and I figured since my dad was a carbon copy of me, then I should come to live with him for a while. He'd been thrilled like I expected. My dad Charlie, a local sheriff was a lonely man and he still hadn't really gotten over losing my mother all those years ago. I was hoping that I could provide him with a little bit of company. I'd come yesterday and all of my things were unpacked. I didn't have much. Charlie had cleaned the room and given me new sheets but other than that, everything looked exactly the same. Unfortunately, I didn't have a car yet so I had to get dropped to school by my dad but he stopped about a mile away so I wouldn't roll up in a police cruiser.

"Have a good day Bella" he said, kissing the top of my head.

"Thanks dad."

I took a deep breath as I got out of the safe confines of the car and started to walk. I had no idea what to expect, I never had many friends back in Arizona and I didn't expect to have any here. I wasn't very good at making friends, plus I was starting in the middle of a semester. It was freezing cold November and I shivered as I made my way down the deserted empty street. I'd just turned 17 and I was starting my junior year. I was kind of a nerd so I knew there wouldn't be an awful lot of catching up needed but it was still daunting starting in the middle. It didn't take me long to get to the small school and I swallowed the bile in my throat when I saw the size of the building. It was so tiny, absolutely every body would know each other and there wasn't a chance in hell I could slip in unnoticed. I braced myself, ready for everything. _You can do this Bella, you wanted to come here _I chanted in my head. It didn't help much. I walked slowly up to the front entrance and tried to ignore the beady eyes I could feel boring into my back and the low whispers and murmurs. The woman at the reception smiled brightly at me and it felt nice to be out of the cold and into this warm little room.

"Hi, um Isabella Swan, it's my first day" I stuttered nervously. Right, I was officially the worst speaker ever.

"Oh yes" she said. "Chief Swan's daughter. We've been expecting you, I'll just get you your schedule."

I internally rolled my eyes. Of course, I bet the whole town had been waiting for the arrival of Charlie Swan's estranged daughter. The secretary came back and handed me my schedule. She told me to come back at the end of the day and get my slip signed by my teachers. I nodded thankfully and went off to my first class, English literature. I loved literature. I was a complete and total bookworm and I knew for sure this was the class I would ace one hundred per cent. I fumbled around for a while trying to find the room and ever the klutz I was I bumped straight into someone, my folder crashing to the ground along with his books. I bent down to retrieve the items but he beat me like it was a competition.

"It's okay, I've got it" the boy said. I stood back up awkwardly and shifted on one foot as I waited for him to gather up the books. He stood and handed me my folder, smiling at me excitedly.

"Wow. You must be the new girl, Isabella? I'm Mike." He extended his hand and I shook it. It was kind of sweaty.

"Bella" I corrected him "and yes I'm the new girl."

"Well what do you have first?"

I told him I had English and miraculously so did he. He walked me to class and I thanked him and then he invited me to sit with him and his friends at lunch. I wasn't quite all there with the teenage high school protocol but I hope he didn't accept my friendliness as signs for _something _more. Mike was a nice boy and all, but I wasn't really into dating yet and if I had a type, I'm sure Mike wouldn't be it. He sat right next to me in English and I was glad I wasn't alone. High school can be daunting, especially if you don't have any friends.

"Who's the new girl?" one of the guys asked Mike. All eyes were on me and I tried my hardest to focus on the board even though nothing was written on there and the lesson hadn't begun.

"She's my friend Bella" Mike said protectively putting an arm around me. I didn't quite know how one brief conversation rendered us 'friends.' I shrugged his arm off in annoyance. I didn't need him to speak for me and I didn't need him to start thinking he could get 'friendly' with me either. I was so thankful when the teacher walked in and told everybody to be quiet. I couldn't stand being the centre of attention; it was my very worst nightmare.

I idly doodled on the front cover of my notebook, trying not to look up and meet the gaze of hungry students all wanting a pry into the mysterious life of Bella Swan. When the teacher called my name I had no choice but to look at him. And here's me thinking I would be able to go unnoticed. I knew he was going to make me stand up and introduce myself or something equally embarrassing. This was my idea of hell. I looked up reluctantly and _did not_ expect my teacher to look like that. He was tall and lean, with reddish brown hair and gosh…he was kind of young. Well young for a teacher, like late twenties or early thirties maybe. He was beautiful.

"Uhh" I stuttered, completely having not listened to a word he was saying.

"I just wanted to know if you're familiar with Romeo and Juliet, the text we'll be studying?" Oh, so he wasn't going to make me stand up and talk? His voice was deep and warm and – I realised he was staring at me, obviously waiting for a reply.

"Oh, yes. Yes I'm familiar with text" I said hurriedly, positive I was blushing fifty shades of red.

"Good" he smiled. Then he turned around to the board and started writing away quickly and I tried not to meet his gaze again.


	2. Chapter 2 - Teenage Wasteland

A/N Chapters will continue to get longer as things start to get moving. Hope you enjoy &amp; leave a pretty little review luvs.

Chapter 2: Teenage Wasteland

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I managed to get through my first day at school quite successfully. Minimal bumps and trips and no serious casualties during gym that resulted in hospitalisation. Overall, it wasn't as bad as I expected but I still couldn't wait to get home. I was completely drained and I still had homework to do. My dad was still at work and couldn't pick me up so unfortunately I had to walk. It wasn't that it was particularly far, it was just really cold and I hated the cold weather. When I reached home I had a hot shower, trying to unknot my freezing bones and stayed in there until it started to turn cold. I put on sweats and a long jumper, finally starting to feel warm when I opened the cupboards and realised Charlie didn't have any sufficient food. I sighed and realised I was going to have to go grocery shopping. I was seriously going to have to think about getting a car but I didn't have any money or a job. I waited for Charlie to get home and he took me. I told him that he could wait in the car which he was grateful for. As I was walking down the meat isle I saw my English teacher looking at some steak interestingly and I tried to turn around but it was too late. He'd seen me. So he was here alone? Did that mean he was single? He didn't seem like the type to be single.

"Isabella, nice to see you" he said to me

"Oh, Mr Cullen. I didn't see you there" I lied awkwardly

"So, are you here by yourself?" he asked

"Well my dad is waiting in the car for me. All he has in the cupboards are ready meals so I figured I needed to get some food."_ Great_. Now I was babbling and I could feel my cheeks heating up again. I needed to get away. Mr Cullen chuckled.

"Well, happy shopping" he smiled. "I'll see you tomorrow."

I gave a little wave and shook my head at myself as I continued to shop.

I made lasagna for dinner and then went to my room to finish off my homework and I was so tired by my long day I fell asleep.

I didn't want to wake up in the morning. I wanted to stay in my warm bed and go back to sleep but I knew I had no choice. I changed into jeans, boots and a new leather coat my mom had got for me before I left. I also wrapped a scarf around my neck for good measure. I looked at my reflection in the mirror for a while and wondered if I should do something with my face or hair. I put on a little bit of mascara to extend my lashes but I just brushed my hair and left it to hang straight. I'd do. I grabbed a bowl of cereal and Charlie was sitting opposite me on the table drinking coffee and reading the newspaper.

"Morning dad" I greeted. He had a big grin on his face and I wondered what he was so happy about.

"Morning Bella. I just got off the phone with Billy, his son works on cars and he's been bugging Billy to get rid of the old truck for ages so he can work on a new one. I bought it for you, very reasonable price as well." He looked very proud of himself and I nearly spat my cereal out.

"You bought me a car?" I asked in disbelief.

"Well, it's a truck. But yes."

"Dad, I have to pay you back" I said seriously.

"Bella I told you I got it at a really good deal. You're my daughter; I'm allowed to buy you things. Think of it as a welcome home present" he insisted. I didn't know what to say, I couldn't believe he'd bought me a car! I was so excited. Now I didn't have to walk to or from school.

"Wow, thanks dad" I said leaning over to give him a quick hug. I finished my food and then Charlie dropped me off, which would be the last time since I could make my own way there now. Mike was standing with a group of his friends by his car when he saw me and made his way over smiling like he'd just won a million dollars.

"Hey Bella" he grinned, wrapping his arm around my shoulder.

"Mike, stop doing that" I said, getting agitated.

"Aw come on Bella, I'm just playing."

I shrugged, annoyed and walked on. He kept up beside me and then ran a little to stop straight in front of me. I came to a halt and glared at him.

"Mike what do you want?"

"I like you Bella" he said bluntly with no shame. "You're pretty, funny and I want you to like me too."

"Mike I'm sorry. I don't feel the same way." I walked off feeling a little bit abashed and embarrassed that he had just said he liked me. He didn't even know me; jeez I'd only been here for one day! I hope he didn't take it the wrong way and de friend me. I didn't want to not have friends and he really was an okay guy.

I found out that Mike was not really affected by my response earlier and he was still friendly and chatty with me later on. I bet he figured he would need more time to win me over or something but I was thankful he still wanted to be my friend. I had trigonometry first, my least favourite class and I had to sit next to one of Mike's friends Jessica Stanley.

"So Bella. It seems you are having all the attention around here, I didn't get a chance to speak to you properly yesterday. How are you liking it here?"

"Oh, well. It's okay. I mean, it's school so…" I trailed off when I realised she was frowning at me.

"Did I say something?" I asked

"Mike likes you you know" she said to me.

"Oh, I know he told me earlier."

"He did?" she seemed to be getting angrier and I was beginning to think that I should just shut up. I didn't know how to deal with things like this.

"I told him no" I said, hoping that would make her feel better. She relaxed a little and nodded.

"Make sure you _keep_ telling him no."

With that Mrs James started the lesson and I couldn't help but wonder if she'd just threatened me. I was 99 per cent positive that she had. When the lesson ended I headed to English, my favourite lesson and was glad that Jessica Stanley was not in this class with me. Mike sat next to me again and he looked at me intently.

"I really am sorry about earlier Bella" he told me.

"It's fine Mike" I sighed. The grin on his face was big enough to fill the whole room.

"Come out with us on Friday" he said to me. "Were gonna go to the theatre."

"Who's we?"

"Me, Eric, Ben, Jess, Angela…"

I cringed when he mentioned Jess.

"I don't know about that."

"Why not?" he asked "what else do you have to do?"

I opened my mouth to protest, annoyed but nothing came out. He was right. I didn't have anything else to do and I didn't want to be friendless and boring so I just nodded. Ugh.

"Yes! Oh it's going to be great Bella. I promise."

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It wasn't great, it was extremely boring. The movie was sleep inducing and I had to endure hours of Jessica and Lauren glaring at me every time Mike said a word to me. Angela and Eric were nice and Tyler was okay too. They made me feel welcomed but I still didn't want to be here. People my age; they were just so petty and immature. I would much rather be at home, watching TV with Charlie or reading my book. After the movie Mike insisted we go out to dinner. I tried to say I had stuff to do but he insisted.

"Come on Bella, how about _Bella _Italia?" he asked with a smirk

I rolled my eyes at his lame joke. Corny. We didn't end up going to Bella Italia, turns out you had to make reservations there so we ate a crummy steakhouse instead but the food was actually kind of nice. Shame the company wasn't. When Mike went to the bathroom, Jessica leaned across the table towards me, the others not paying attention and in deep conversation.

"I thought I told you to say no when Mike asked you out" she said to me venom laced through her voice.

"It was a group thing" I said, feeling confused. "You know I would have said no if he asked me on a date."

"Don't get smart with me Bella. You're new here and you don't know how things work. I meant don't go out with him _period_. I don't want you coming out with us."

"And who says that you call the shots?" I said angrily. I wasn't going to let some 5 foot nothing blonde bombshell bully me. Which is what she was clearly trying to do. I knew all about hazing but the thing is, I didn't want to be part of Jessica's friendship group. Mike had homed in on me and the only thing I had tried to do was be polite.

"Stay away Bella, or I _will _find a way to take you down" she sneered. I bit back a laugh and raised my eyebrows at her. Did she realise how pathetic that sounded? When Mike came back I pushed my plate away standing up and grabbing my purse.

"Hey, Bella. We haven't had desert, where are you going?"

"I lost my appetite." I walked out of the restaurant without looking back and headed straight for my truck. I heard Mike following me and calling out my name but I was already gone. My fists clenched around my steering wheel as I drove home. How dare she? Well now, I definitely had no friends. I tried my hardest not to cry; the tears came anyway.

The next morning I was glad because it was a Saturday and I didn't have to go to school. My dad had gone fishing with two of his friends and I made myself breakfast and got comfy downstairs. When I got bored of doing nothing I decided to check my emails. There were three from Renee, my mother.

_Hi Darling. _

_Let me know how you are, how's Charlie? Are you okay there? I hope you're not too cold. Wear the pyjamas I packed for you. I love you honey._

The second one sounded a little more panicked.

_Bella, I hope you're okay. How was school? Did you make friends? I hope you did. Any cute boys? Answer me._

Then she started to get _really_ panicked.

_Bella if you don't answer me today I'm phoning Charlie. Ring me please._

I sent her back a quick email reassuring her that I was still alive and okay.

_Hi mom. I'm fine, things have just been a little hectic this week. Love you. Bella._

I decided I may as well get a head start with all my homework since I didn't have anything else to do. I finished it all in a few hours and by the time I was done Charlie was back.

"Hi Bella, I thought maybe you'd be out with some friends today."

"I was with them last night" I reminded him.

"I know but…never mind. I caught a ton of fish, you like fish right?"

"Yeah, sure" I said unenthusiastically. I was miserable and I didn't even try to hide it. I just wanted to go home.

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In English on Monday Mike tried to speak to me again.

"What happened on Friday Bella? Jess said you didn't fell well."

"Well then you should just listen to what Jess has to say shouldn't you?" I didn't mean to snap but I think he got the message because he stopped speaking to me. I took out my copy of Romeo and Juliet and started to copy down what Mr Cullen was writing.

"I can't believe that new girl Bella, she's so into Mike and she _knows_ how much jess likes him." I heard the gossiping whisper from the girls at the front before I had time to register who it was. Lauren Malroy who was Jess' best friend and one of her loyal fans. Most of the class turned to look at me, their eyes trained on my face whispering and giggling. Mr Cullen turned around to glare at Lauren.

"Pay attention" he said in a harsh voice and the class immediately went silent.

"He's so hot" I heard a girl say behind me. I got through the rest of the class but I felt like an experimental project with everybody staring at me. When English eventually ended I tried rushing out as quickly as possible but Mr Cullen's voice calling my name stopped me short.

"Isabella, if I could just have a word?" he asked

I forced myself to retreat back into the room and watched as the sniggering students fled out one by one. Mr Cullen motioned for me to come and stand in front of his desk where he was seated and so I did.

"Did I do something wrong?" I immediately asked

"No, you did nothing wrong" he said gently.

"Then what?" I blurted.

I corrected myself. "I'm sorry, but why do you want to speak to me? Sir" I added.

"Isabella, I know that starting a new school can be incredibly difficult especially high school but you mustn't let anybody try and make you feel bad."

Oh, great. He'd heard what they said and now he thought I was a victim.

"It's fine" I blushed "they're just petty girls."

"I agree" he nodded 'but they can still be hurtful. I just want you to enjoy your time here and be okay.' His deep green eyes that were boring into mine held nothing but complete honesty and sincerity. Something I hadn't gotten from anybody since I moved to Forks. I was starting to really like my English teacher. And not just because he was drop dead gorgeous, but because he cared.

"Well, thank you Mr Cullen" I said bashfully.

"Anytime Isabella."

I turned to leave but before I walked through the open door again Mr Cullen called me again.

"Oh and Isabella, you can do so much better than Newton" he smiled. What? I didn't even like Mike!

I flushed scarlet and exited quickly pretty sure I heard a chuckle from him.


	3. Chapter 3 - Detention

Chapter 3: Detention

So here's chapter 3 guys! Thank you to Nichole (HannickaCharm) for beta-ing this chapter for me! I hope you enjoy. Next chapter will be longer &amp; start in Edward's POV I think.

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The next day at school Jessica Stanley tried to brutally torture me in gym. We were playing dodge ball but it seemed like she was actually trying to murder me with them. When we were changing, her and her gang of girlish groupies giggled and whispered about me. I tried my best to ignore them but I could still hear and willed myself not to let the tears fall. Why did high school have to be so horrible? More importantly, why did I always have to be the one to get picked on and singled out? It was like I walked around with a sticky label on my head reading VICTIM: TARGET ME. I wanted the day to be over so badly but it was going painstakingly slowly. Not even English cheered me up and that was my favourite class. Mike did not try talking to me too much today; I think he sensed my mood and for that I was grateful. At lunch I sat with Angela and her boyfriend Ben but Jess came over to the table and told me to move.

"What did I tell you little Isabella? Do you not remember?" She said, her beady little eyes boring into mine menacingly.

"Jess, knock it off" Angela said to her but was ignored.

"These are my friends Bella so I suggest you go and find your own. Being the whore you are, you shouldn't have too much of a problem picking up male attention. Or female if you're into that."

Lauren and her other friends started snickering and that is when I lost it. This pent up anger and frustration had been building up in me all week and I could not take it anymore. I stood up and grabbed her. She was so stunned she did not do anything for a second. I pushed her away from me, gritting my teeth, and then she started to scream. Members of staff came running over straight away and I found that the whole cafeteria had gone quiet and they all sat watching me.

"What on earth is going on?" Miss Laurel, the art teacher shrieked.

"Bella just attacked Jess Miss" Lauren said and her friends all grunted in agreement. "For no reason" she then added.

I opened my mouth, ready to protest but Miss Laurel glared at me.

"To the principles office" she said.

"But -"

She cut me off with a hiss. "No buts. Go. Now."

I picked up my bag and stormed off to the principles office feeling anger and humiliation course through every surface of my body. I hated this school. I hated Forks. I wish I had never made the stupid decision to move here. What the hell had I been thinking?

The principle, Mr. Tanner looked at me disapprovingly when I explained to him what had happened.

"I know it's tough being the new girl Isabella but you must not let yourself get in petty fights. Rise above it."

"She started it" I muttered, feeling childish. It was the truth.

"And you should have ended it. Two hour detention tonight after school."

I groaned and tried to protest but he held up his hand, silencing me.

"Detention tonight Isabella. With Mr Cullen, your English teacher. You can help him out with anything he needs doing. You will go and you will behave."

I stilled for a moment and a surge of happiness and a hint of...relief? Coursed through me. My favourite teacher. Mr totally gorgeous- _I need to stop having such inappropriate thoughts_ \- Cullen.

"O...Kay" I said brokenly. He eyed me evenly, obviously expecting me to put up a fight. He was surprised when I didn't give him the satisfaction.

After school I knocked on the door of Mr Cullen's office tentatively. He told me to come in. He was sat at his desk, a whole stack of papers in front of him and he looked a little stressed and worn out to be honest.

"Isabella, what brings you here?" He asked looking up at me and running his fingers through his tousled bronze hair. I think I forgot to speak.

"Um...I have a detention" I said. My voice sounded an octave higher and I flushed as his eyes lingered on my own. "Mr. Tanner, said to help you."

"And what did you do to warrant yourself a detention with me?" He asked, raising his eyebrows. I found that I did not want to tell him that I had pushed Jess. I actually cared what he thought about me and I knew he would not approve of my violent behaviour - even if it was completely necessary and called for.

"I had a, erm - disagreement with Jessica" there, that would do. He shook his head at me though and beckoned me to come in and close the door.

"Take a seat" he instructed. I did as I was told and took the seat opposite his own. It was big and I felt very small in this large shiny room. The seats were leather and he had a few pieces of artwork hung up. No family pictures or cosy little home reminders and I wondered if he lived alone. He was still young, it was very possible he has not settled down yet. The thought made me oddly happy for some reason.

'Tell me why you got yourself into trouble. I thought I told you not to bother with those girls.' His voice was oddly sharp and demanding – _intimidating _was the word that sprang to mind and I was confused as to why he cared so much.

"I tried," I explained."They just, they wouldn't leave me alone. They constantly whisper about me wherever I go and tell everybody I'm a whore when I've never had a boyfriend in my _whole_ life. I don't like Mike at all and that's why Jess hates me so much. Because Mike likes me. I didn't do anything to anybody and I just want to go home. I wish I'd never came to Forks." I took a deep breath, willing myself not to cry and look foolish and I realised with humiliation that I had just poured my heart out to my English teacher. I had been finally able to admit the things that had been weighing on my mind ever since I came to Forks and it felt oddly refreshing. When I finally looked up at him through my glassy, unshed, teary eyes I could not make out the expression on his face. He got up slowly out of his seat and came around to sit on the desk right in front of me. What was he doing?

"Sorry for my outburst" I said quickly filled with humiliation. How many times was I going to embarrass myself today?

"I am so sorry you feel that way here Isabella" he said to me, this time in a gentler tone.

"It's not your fault" I mumbled, tearing my eyes away from his gaze. His stare was extremely overwhelming and relentless.

"I'll talk to those girls. They won't bother you ever again."

My eyes snapped up to meet his and I shook my head rapidly. "No, you can't do that. Everything will be worse if they found out I tattled on them" I pleaded.

"They won't find out. I'll just, let's say... catch them in the act." A curve of a smile tugged up on his lips and he leaned forward a little more on his desk. I could smell the heavenly scent of his after shave and I flushed brightly.

"They won't make you sad anymore Isabella. I _will_ make sure of that." There was sincerity, care and honesty in his words and before I could say anything else he was standing back up, giving me half the stack of papers he had piled on his desk.

"Freshman English papers. I want your help grading them." He sat back down on his side of the desk and took a swig of his drink before picking up his own pile.

"You want me to grade papers? I can't do that can I?" I asked

"You're more intelligent than most people I've met Isabella. Of course you can" he smiled. I smiled back and for the next few hours I graded papers with Mr Cullen. When I finished I felt a surge of surprisingly new found confidence. Being in his company felt good; in some weird very strange way he made me feel comforted.

"What's your first name?" I blurted out. He looked up from his paper and raised his eyebrow at me. I pursed my lips as I waited for an answer.

"Edward."

"Mr Edward Cullen"

"Yes" he smirked.

"Do you have a girlfriend?" The words tumbled out of my mouth before I could stop them and I was mortified. I put my hands over my mouth instinctively but he just laughed.

"No I do not have a girlfriend Isabella."

I smiled brightly at that tidbit of information for some unknown reason and then he raised his eyebrow at me again.

"Why are you smiling?" He asked, wearing a smile of his own

I blushed and he chuckled again before checking his watch.

"I think it's time for you to go home now" he said to me. "It's after six, you've actually served more than your time."

"Oh" I felt a wave of disappointment rush through me. This is probably the first time I have actually enjoyed my move here to Forks. Edward stood up and I followed suit, smoothing out my now rumpled t shirt.

"It was nice to have some company. Thank you Isabella" he said to me, his deep eyes shining.

I turned to leave as he opened the door for me but he placed a hand on my shoulder and I turned around in shock. His hands on me felt really nice, even if it was just a sweet simple gesture.

"I really will make sure those girls leave you alone Isabella. They won't bully you anymore."

"I always seem to be the target" I whispered, feeling overwhelmed with emotion. I noticed that his hand was still on my shoulder and it was getting difficult to think.

"You're the target because they envy you. You're beautiful, intelligent, brilliant. And you're all that without trying. You really are special Isabella Swan."

I flushed deeply. Mr Cullen just called me beautiful. Was that appropriate? I did not know what to respond to that. I murmured thanks and then I was gone.

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When I got home my dad looked me at me expectantly, his eyebrows raised as he put down his paper.

"Where have you been Bella?" He asked

"I had a detention" I sighed. I really did not want to speak about this. I felt very drained, tired and extremely confused.

"Why? You're a good kid Bells, what happened?"

I took my shoes off and flopped down onto the couch, fingers combing my hair which had accumulated a lot of knots over the course of the day.

"Some girls...they were being mean to me so I accidentally pushed one of them over. I did my detention dad so it's all over now. You don't need to have a go at me too."

His eyebrows knotted in confusion and he looked at me softly.

"I'm not mad at you Bella, I'm mad at those girls. Teenagers can be mean but it's only because they're jealous of you so just ignore them okay honey?"

I nodded my head and realized that Mr Cullen had said the exact same thing to me earlier. I had taken their word for it but I had a hard time believing that any girls would envy me. I wasn't stunningly beautiful, I wasn't wealthy, and I wasn't talented or spectacular. I was just average. I suppose I was smart but I was not a brainiac or anything. I just knew how to do my lessons and I liked to read books. Why would somebody be jealous of that? I knew the reason Jess hated me and it was not because she was jealous of me personally. It was because of Mike. I went into the kitchen after a few minutes to evade Charlie's empathetic gaze for his poor, unfortunate daughter and started dinner. I had gone grocery shopping again yesterday so there was plenty to choose from. I settled on steak. Steak was always a good option.

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I didn't think about anything else except from my English teacher, Edward Cullen, all evening. As I made dinner, as I did my homework, even as I took a long shower. He completely preoccupied my every thought and I flushed just merely thinking of the man. I was trying to decipher what his words meant. _The lingering touch on my shoulder, "you're beautiful, you're special Isabella Swan_..." Was he flirting with me or was I just mistaking his friendliness and consideration for something more? He would not be flirting with me would he? I was a junior in high school. 17 years old. That would be completely inappropriate on so many levels. Not to mention illegal! I was so confused, my head was reeling as I tossed and turned in bed. I was definitely attracted to my English teacher, he was everything you could want in a man. Beautiful, kind, caring, considerate. I knew how wrong this was, he was my teacher for crying out loud and he was so many years older than me but I couldn't help what I feel. I closed my eyes restlessly and let myself succumb to the darkness. My dreams were filled of Edward, stacks of papers and red roses and when I woke in the morning I sighed heavily. I had it bad.


	4. Chapter 4 - Klutz 101

Chapter 4: Klutz 101

For those of you wandering and waiting, patience is necessary. They're not just going to rush straight into a relationship. These things need to build…review review review and tell me what you think, what you like, what you don't like. I take on feedback. xoxo

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Today I was sitting on the floor of my living room, books and paper spread out trying to catch up on the mound of homework I had accumulated. I didn't usually leave my homework to pile up for so long but I had been rather distracted all week with my scattered thoughts. My dad was out, fishing I think with his friend Billy and I was here. Alone. He'd offered to stay with me when he found out I had no plans for a Saturday but the last thing I wanted was a moping Charlie hovering all day. No, being by myself was much better I decided. I sighed as I turned my trig page and dove headfirst back into my homework. I tried to keep my mind from wandering off to Mr Cullen and thinking about what he was doing this Saturday, and whom he was spending it with. I knew now he didn't have a girlfriend but maybe he still dated occasionally. Perhaps he was looking for the right girl.

The weekend had came around and vanished quickly after my detention with Mr Cullen and I was waiting for the chance to speak to him alone today. I tried to ignore the shiver of disappointment that ran down my spine if I didn't get to. _This has to stop_ I chastised myself. It didn't work much. He was all I could think about, even when I was asleep. I had dreams about my English teacher and some of them could only be described as R rated. In my dreams he was holding me tightly, I felt warm and safe. I felt loved in his arms. His green eyes would twinkle and dance as he leaned in closer...and then his lips would touch mine. It was all really quite ridiculous. I blushed and tried to swat my thoughts away as I stood in the girls locker room changing myself for gym. This was not the place for these kind of thoughts and I knew I was just being a silly schoolgirl. With a huge crush. As I was putting my hair up in a high ponytail I saw Jess glaring at me from the other side of the room. When I caught her eye she hissed and turned on her heels, Lauren and Amy following close behind mirroring her distaste toward me. I couldn't help but smile a little. Ever since my detention last week things at school had been much better. Jess and her friends still hated me but now they just glared at me and ignored me which was a relief. I could deal with that, what I couldn't deal with was the idle threats and taunting and telling lies about me. Whatever Mr Cullen had done to get them off my back was really working and I was so grateful for him. I just really wanted a minute alone to say my thanks and gratitude. When I finished getting changed, I walked over to the gym and internally groaned. Indoor volleyball. I _hate_ volleyball. I hate sports in general but in particular things with balls that flew at me and hurt me. Angela picked me to be on her team and I felt a surge of relief wash over me. It was mortifying being last to get picked and since Jess was in charge of the second team I knew she'd do just that.

"Thanks" I whispered as I made my way over to her

"It's fine Bella. I'm happy Jess and her friends are leaving you alone now."

"But you're her friend" I frowned

"Not anymore" she smiled. I was confused and raised an eyebrow expectantly at her. She shifted on one foot and ran her fingers through her dark hair.

"When she tormented you in the cafeteria, I realised she wasn't the type of person I wanted to be friends with Bella. She was cruel and a bully and I wasn't raised like that. If you'll let me, I hope I can be a much better friend to you."

I smiled enormously. "Of course" I nodded and she hugged me briefly before we started the game.

I was terrible of course. I tried to stay in the back and avoid contact with the ball as much as possible. But it was inevitable and when it came at me I dodged out of the way, colliding with Mike Newton and falling down.

"Oh Gosh, Bella I'm so sorry!" Mike shouted panicked. He offered to give me a hand but all I could concentrate on was the scalding pain running from my left toe all the way to the top of my ankle. Tears burned my eyes but I blinked them back. Coach Marten ran over and bent down so he was to my level. The game had effectively stopped and now everybody was watching me and talking in hushed tones. Angela was crouched by my side too and I saw Jess and Lauren in the corner smirking.

"Bella, tell me what hurts" Coach said

"My ankle" I gritted through the pain

"Can you stand?"

"I...don't think so." I tried moving it just a fraction and the pain seared through me. It was excruciating.

"Oh Bella, I hope you're alright" Angela said with worry plastered all over her face. I heard Mike as he kept apologising over and over again. He genuinely looked sorry and sincere but I ignored him.

"I'll go and get the nurse" Angela offered, getting to her feet but at that moment Mr Cullen strode into the gym and straight over to me.

"It's okay, I'll take her" he offered. His eyes were clearly etched with worry. Before I could protest he bent and scooped me up in his arms like I weighed a feather. He strode toward the nurse and I wanted to _die_. Could this day get anymore humiliating? My face flushed with embarrassment as he carried me down the hallway and into the small nurses office, setting me gently on the bed. He explained everything to the nurse and she immediately placed a freezing cold ice pack on it and told me to press down. I did and my ankle was starting to feel numb.

"Its okay" she assured me with a kind smile. "Not broken, just a sprain. A bad sprain but with proper care you should be good to go in no time."

I thanked her and continued to press down the cold ice pack on my swollen ankle. A boy rushed into the office a moment later, his hair wild.

"Somebody fainted during dissecting a heart" he panted

"Oh goodness" the nurse looked to me for a moment. "Will you be okay?" She asked

I was about to say something when Mr Cullen interrupted. "I'll stay with her Anne." Anne nodded and then she was out of the room following the 10th grader.

"How is it feeling?" Edward asked, coming to kneel at the bottom of the bed. His fingers brushed mine out of the way as he held the ice pack.

"Let me" he said softly. I nodded and marveled at the way his fingers felt when he touched mine. It was the briefest of seconds and I could feel the sparks. I wondered if he could too.

"Does it hurt?"

"Yes but it's beginning to feel numb now" I said quietly

"How did this happen Isabella?" He sighed

"Mike Newton, I collided with him. I don't think it was his fault though" I explained. "He seemed very apologetic."

He looked angry for a second before quickly brushing it off. He removed his hand and placed mine back over it.

"Come on, I'm taking you home." He held his hand out to me and I had to blink a few times. Did I just hear right?

"What?" I asked

"I'm taking you home Isabella" he sounded impatient now. "Your ankle is swollen, you can't walk and there's no way you can drive."

"But..."

"No buts."

"Is that even allowed?" I asked curiously. I wasn't quite sure of the student-teacher protocol here at Forks high.

He frowned. "I'm taking you home because you're _hurt_ Isabella."

"I'm sorry" I shook my head. "I wasn't insinuating anything I just..." I trailed off. I tried to analyze his behavior. Why did he want to take me home? Why was he even at the gym in the first place? He looked at me and his green eyes were intense as he opened his mouth to say something but then closed it again. He was _so _beautiful.

"It's fine, come on. Do you think you can walk?"

I got off the bed and slowly rested my foot on the floor but as soon as I took a step forward, the pain shot through me again. Mr Cullen steadied me, making sure I didn't fall. He lifted me again and carried me quickly to his car. This time, I found I really didn't mind so much that he was holding me. His car was shiny and black, a Volvo. It looked new.

"Oh, no! What about my truck?" I asked frantically as I suddenly remembered. He lowered me into the car and strapped me in.

"I'll phone your dad and tell him what happened. He can come and pick it up later."

I groaned. Of course he'd be informing Charlie about what has happened today. He was dropping me home after all.

I looked around at the interior of his car. There was hardly any dust and everything was clean. It smelled like lavender air freshener and a slight lingering of his perfume. His CDs were lightly scattered in his holder and I examined a few. Classical and alternative mostly but there was a Linkin Park album there too.

"Oh, I love Linkin Park" I exclaimed. He smiled and popped it into the player just before he did up his seatbelt and reversed.

"Do you have a favourite song?" He asked, interested

"I know it's one of their most popular but I like numb. I think that's my very favourite."

"Do you relate to that song?"

"Yes. Well, I used to a lot more. I guess in a roundabout way I've always felt pressured to be something I'm not._ Someone _I'm not." It really was surprising how comfortable I felt talking about myself with Edward. It was completely new for me and it was a very good feeling.

"You don't anymore?"

"I still do sometimes. I guess it comes with the territory of being in high school but I don't let things bother me as much anymore."

"I think you're perfect just the way you are Isabella. Don't ever strive to be somebody you're not." he said kindly to me. I blushed and looked out the window as I told him my address. Rows of green sprinkled the forests and the deserted roads opened out before us. Mr Cullen was a fast driver. But he was a very good driver too.

"I'm sorry I'll miss English" I said to him, trying to break the silence that had now washed over us.

"I'm sorry too" he said, looking straight ahead. He frowned a little before continuing. "Maybe, if you'd like I'll stay behind a day or so this week to go over missed work with you? You really should take a few days off for that ankle."

"You'd do that?" I smiled

"For you Isabella, yes."

"Okay" I whispered.

Then I suddenly remembered that I hadn't thanked him for getting Jess and her crew off my back.

"Thank you, for getting Jess to leave me alone" I said quietly. "It really means a lot."

He turned his head just a fraction to look at me and smiled that crooked smile.

"As I've just said. Anything for you."

We pulled up at my house far too soon and when he stopped the car, I really didn't want to get out. His fingers stilled on the clutch and he was still staring ahead deep in thought. It seemed as though he was trying to figure out a very difficult math sum and he couldn't quite get the answer. Swiftly he turned to me.

"Oh I'm sorry. I forgot you can't walk." He immediately got out of the car as I undid my seatbelt and lifted me into his arms for the third time that day. It felt so strange being carried around by my teacher - being so close to him, but I couldn't shake the feeling that secretly, he was liking this too. He held me tightly and I inhaled his beautiful clean manly scent, reveling in the soft feel of his coat and the warmth his touch brought to me. It was wonderful and all over too quickly when Edward gently placed me down by my door. I fumbled with the lock and he asked me if I needed help inside. I hesitated. I didn't think I could handle Mr Cullen in my house and I never wanted to put him in an awful position.

"I'll be okay" I said quietly, brushing my hair out of my eyes. It had all fallen out from my ponytail and I don't even want to think about what I looked like right now. I'd hazard a guess at atrocious. Mr Cullen stood at the front door and nodded and I shifted a little wincing just slightly.

"Thank you for everything. For carrying me and the ride home. It was really kind of you Mr Cullen" I told him. He smiled, a really big warming smile and before I knew what he was doing he hesitantly reached out and tucked a piece of hair behind my ear. My heart raced and I almost collapsed again just from one simple touch.

"See you soon Isabella." Before I could respond he was gone.

oo

My fingertips grazed the place he'd brushed my face and I could not keep the ridiculous smile off my face. He carried me, offered to stay behind for me and then touched me! _He touched me_. I was reeling from happiness but as soon as it came, it was quickly replaced by sadness. It could never be. My attraction, my feelings, I could never do anything about them. He was a teacher and I was his student and it was completely illegal and wrong on so many levels. But then why did being with him feel so right? I shook my head. I knew he cared for me but it was most likely just a caring fondness. He probably just took pity on me because I'd moved across the country and then I'd been bullied. I felt humiliation wash over me. I didn't want his pity or his sympathy and if that's what it was...he could put a stop to it right now. I stormed upstairs but almost fell and lost my balance when I remembered my ankle. Shit. The pain shot through me and I took myself to the couch, lying down. I felt a little light headed if I was being honest and I didn't think I could manage stairs right now and I couldn't believe Mr Cullen carried me today, I think he's absolutely wonderful and...I fell asleep with my head in the cushions to the sound of the rain that had just started.

When I woke up I felt cozy and warm. There was a heat pack over my ankle now in replace of the ice and my shoes were off, a warm blanket draped over me. The television was on and I could still hear the rain falling softly against the windows. It was dark outside. I rubbed my eyes and sat up a little. On the other couch across from me was my dad, sitting with the controller in his hand.

I smiled gently and gave him a little wave.

"Thank you for the blanket and the heat pack dad."

He looked across at me, worry lines etched into his face.

"How are you Bella?" He asked leaning slightly forward on the couch. He put the remote down.

"I'm okay" I replied. I could wriggle my ankle and truthfully I felt much better than earlier.

"I was so worried when your teacher, Mr Cullen I think called. I was extremely grateful that he dropped you home. I left work and went to get your truck immediately."

"Thank you dad" I said, flopping back down into the cushions. Today really had exhausted me.

"You're not going to school tomorrow" Charlie then said adamantly. "You need to rest, take it easy and let that heal. Oh and I'm ordering pizza tonight. Pepperoni okay?"

oo

The few days I took off school dragged and I knew it was because I wanted to see Edward again. If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't have cared less. I'd have probably taken the whole week off. I wanted to stay behind with him though today to catch up. Also, he wasn't the only reason I wanted to go back. I'd made a new friend on Monday, Angela. I wasn't about to pass up any opportunity to have friends. I tried catching up on work I'd missed, I read books, watched television and slept quite a bit. By Thursday morning my ankle was considerately better when I went downstairs to grab a pop tart but Charlie sat at the table looking weary.

"I don't know Bella" he said as he sipped his coffee. "You're still limping a little bit, what if you fall down again? Maybe you should take another day off."

"Dad I'm fine" I said rolling my eyes as I grabbed some juice from the fridge. "I'm excused from gym and besides" I sat down opposite him at the table. "I don't want to fall too behind. I already missed part of the semester remember?"

He nodded reluctantly and I smiled. I was glad to see he wasn't going to be too difficult about this. That was the one thing I really liked about living with Charlie. Unlike my mother, he didn't fuss and he actually listened to me when I said I was okay. When I pulled up at school Angela and Ben ran over to me as I got out.

"Bella! Oh gosh. I'm glad you're okay. Does it still hurt? Are you feeling better?" Angela engulfed me in a big hug and I could hear Ben chuckling behind her.

"One question at a time Ang."

"I'm okay" I said as she let go. "Still a little sore but it won't kill me."

She grinned widely and linked my arm as we walked into school together.


	5. Chapter 5 - Mixed Signals

Chapter 5: Mixed Signals

**A/N Hi, here's chapter 5 for you! Firstly I want to say a huge thank you to mrsalicehale1 for doing the most amazing job of beta-ing this chapter for me and I hope you enjoy this next one as much as I do. I know things so far have been kinda slow but things need to build up so everything more intense when things happen. Also I urge you to review and tell me what you think so I can ****make this the best story possible. Thanks!**

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Edward POV

I sat down at my desk and tried to finish up grading these tedious, time consuming papers. Some of the answers were absolutely ridiculous and I often wondered if I was doing my job properly. I dismissed that idea as quickly as it came as I remembered the many students that came before them who had passed. It was hard to believe that they thought of what they were going to write before jotting anything down. It was oddly satisfying, however, as I crossed a big _F _across Lauren Mallory's latest paper and a satisfied smug spread on my features. I could picture her outraged and devastated expression when she received this tomorrow morning. She'd toss the paper back in her bag without another thought and curse me under her breath.

I moved the crumbled paper to the graded pile and got to work on the next paper. The name sprang off the paper at me and I suddenly realized I had been subconsciously looking for it: Isabella Swan. I began to memorize the curl of each letter and imagined her writing it. I sighed and my finger paused before I put the pen down. The very thought of her brought her face to the forefront of my mind: her long brown hair, big, innocent, milk chocolate doe eyes, her small, slight figure and the blush of her cheeks. I couldn't stop myself from wondering if that blush travelled everywhere on her body.

The images were permanently engraved into my skull and I don't think I could get them out if I tried. She was so delicate and beautiful and she had no idea of it, which is was the worst travesty of all. I wanted to be the one to tell her everyday how gorgeous she was. The fact that this was not something that could ever be pained me. She needed to know how important, how _special, _she was and I had a feeling that the people in Isabella Swan's life did not tell her those things nearly often enough.

The boys at school were mesmerized and enchanted with her, but she seemed to have no idea. They wanted her because she was shiny and new and a challenge. Bella showed no interest which invited them in even further. They all wanted to covet her; they wanted her innocence, they needed to win the game. I wanted to keep her away from these types of men and protect her. She deserved so much better than any of these boys could ever offer her. She deserved the world. I wanted to be the _better_; I wanted to be the world. I knew I could give her that, but would never be allowed. I hadn't known her long, but my feelings for Isabella were not student-teacher appropriate. No matter how hard I tried to stay away I just couldn't and that thought of doing so threatened to take my breathe away.

These past two weeks had been horrible on my psyche. and I felt like the biggest jerk in the world when I saw her face fall each time I avoided her and dismissed her like any of the other students. I knew I'd confused her, but there was no way to tell her my true feelings. I had been a selfish bastard and let a tiny shred of my feelings show with the ankle incident by taking her home. I had almost shown too much with stating that I would do anything for her and I had seriously crossed the line by stroking her hair. She had just been standing there looking so beautiful and soft and I found it impossible to resist. And then if it was even possible to make it worse, I ignored her. I had sent her mixed signals and I hated myself for it. The whole thing was wrong in so many ways. I was almost eleven years older than her, she was a junior in high school for crying out loud, and I was a grown man who should know so much better.

Everything about the ordeal was wrong, but my heart told me otherwise. The brief periods I got to be alone with her were nothing except perfectly right. Being with Bella felt completely right every single time. It was like my heart could see what my brain was trying to push away, but I didn't want to push her away anymore. I wanted to pull her in. I had never felt this way about anybody before her, but I was positive this was exactly how it was supposed to be.

She was creeping up on me and she was wedging her way into my heart. The best part, by far, was that she had no idea. At first I had been repulsed by myself for even being attracted to and having feelings for an underage student. I realized eventually that this had never happened to me before. I wasn't generally attracted to young girls; I'd never sought after a girl younger than myself in my whole life. That was when I realized this was different. That it was something _more_ than I had ever encountered. Isabella was everything I could possibly want and more.

After marking Bella's paper and awarding her with a well-deserved A+ I finished up the rest of them quickly and retired to my living room. It was times like this that I longed for companionship. I thought it was only during these times of the day, when it was quiet, work was finished and the night was closing in. All anyone would want would be to tell somebody everything that was on your mind – when you realize how truly lonely you are.

I longed for a lover, the warmth of another body to curl up in my lap as I stroked her hair and we talked about our days together. We would talk about our plans for the future, which people annoyed us at work that day and all the insignificant little things you only told to your other half. Isabella's heart shaped face was much more prominent these days in those vivid little fantasies. Before she started at Forks High I hadn't been remotely interested in women. Now it seemed all I wanted was her and I hated that I couldn't have her the way I wished I could. A small part of my brain shouted, "_You don't have to be here doing this_," but I shut it off immediately. This was the first time I'd felt happy and content in a long time, even if it was simply imagining someone I couldn't have. In this moment there were no expectations or rules or obligations.

I sat down at my couch and poured myself a glass of white wine as I stared at the huge fireplace crackling out in front of me. On a whim I decided to call Alice, my eccentric, overly-animated sister, and hoped that she may have some advice for me on this turmoil I was feeling. Just as I thought she would she answered on the first ring.

"Edward," she squealed "Oh, I've missed you so much. We all have. Please do come home, even if it's just for a visit. Esme is so sad without you here. And me."

I sighed contently. It felt nice just hearing Alice's voice and my heart went out to my family, but I had no desire to go back to New York. The way they spent their hollow days shopping on Fifth Avenue and drinking until they blacked out did not appeal to me like it seemed to for the rest of my siblings. Sometimes I liked to pretend that my foster parents were not multi-millionaires and the rest of my family, with the exception of Alice, were not shallow and mindless. Life wasn't real for me back in New York on the upper-east side. Nobody was genuine; girls were only interested in me for my money. I'd learned that the hard way and Alice had nursed my wounds for me back then and now I was relying on my bouncy little sister for the umpteenth time.

"I know Alice, but I'm happy here, honestly," I said, attempting to be reassuring.

"Really?" She asked, with an accusing tone, "You don't _sound _happy. I can read you like a book Edward and you wouldn't have called if you didn't have some sort of problem. What's going on?"

I grimaced. It suddenly hit me that I really was that bad of a brother to my dear sister. I made a mental note to call her more often and certainly to see how her life was instead of bothering her with my issues. I hesitated in the next instance and I wondered if I really wanted to tell Alice what these issues were. I knew she'd keep my secrets without question and wouldn't tell a soul, but trust wasn't the issue. I would trust Alice with my life, but I still cared what she thought about me. What would she say if I told her I thought that I was falling for my seventeen-year-old student?

"Edward, whatever it is you know you can tell me," she said.

I sighed again knowing she was right. I needed her help on this and I couldn't discuss it with anybody else. Alice was my rock and she'd helped me through everything else in my life and I had to trust that she wouldn't judge me. So I told her without holding back. I told her everything I felt and everything I was scared about. I told her all about the allure of the brown-eyed beauty, Isabella Swan. She was quiet for a very long time when I was finished and my heart was beating quite fast, wondering what on earth she was going to say.

"Edward," Alice started and I cringed waiting for her reaction, "This is…_amazing_!" she trilled.

I blinked a few times in confusion, "What did you just say?"

"I said that this is amazing Edward. You've been alone for so long, not feeling anything or caring about anyone. She sounds wonderful Edward and I really want you to be happy."

"Alice," I took a deep breath, feeling exasperated. Alice _never _reacted to things the way she should, but maybe that's why she was so brilliant.

"She is seventeen years old," I gritted through my teeth. '_SEVENTEEN!'_

"Oh, Edward don't be such a prude," she said, dismissively.

I could practically see her through the phone rolling her eyes and filing her nails as if this was of no consequence.

"Look at the age difference between Carlisle and Esme. When it's love, there's no age limits."

"But she's my student Alice. It's illegal."

"She doesn't have to be your student Edward. You don't _need _to teach, you know that."

"I know I don't have to teach," I snapped, "but I enjoy it."

I was perfectly aware that I didn't need to teach to earn a living. I had more money than made sense, but this made me feel normal. It made me feel like I was contributing something to the world, like I was making a difference – however small in somebody else's life. It gave me great joy and satisfaction and I wasn't quite ready to give that up just yet.

"Well, Edward, you have to decide how much you care for Bella and see if she feels the same way. There's no point throwing everything away if she doesn't care for you too. You have to figure out how deep your feelings run before you give your position up. You're going to have to be careful."

Careful. Yes, very careful.

"Thanks Alice. You've really helped."

And she had, as always. I don't know what I'd do without my sister.

"Well I'm glad I can help big brother. You'll have to take me shopping and introduce me to Bella when everything works out just perfectly," she teased.

"Of course Alice," I said, laughing.

After promising her I would visit soon we said goodnight and I laid down, trying to figure out what to do now. How would I begin to court Isabella when I didn't know if she felt the same way? It could land me in a lot of trouble and I knew that, but I knew without a doubt I would risk it if I could have her.

oo

Bella POV

I was miserable and there was no point in even trying to deny it. After the ankle incident, my worst fears had been confirmed. Mr Cullen really did only feel sorry for me. He stayed behind with me as promised on Thursday, but he brushed all personal questions off and we focused strictly on Romeo and Juliet. I was disappointed to say the least, but I was even more hurt when he appeared to be avoiding me.

One day, I had asked for extra help because I really did need it and he had simply dismissed me by saying, _"Not today Isabella." _I'd had tears in my eyes, threatening to fall over, and I'd never felt more like a stupid, delusional teenager than in that moment. I'd convinced myself that we had something, that there was something between us and in that instant I had felt humiliated and stupid. What had happened to _I'd do anything for _you?

I gave up trying instantly and went about my daily motions and tried to stop my silly beliefs and fantasies. My subconscious kept making sly remarks over and over again. _Why on earth would he be interested in you?_ It was hard not to agree. Why would he? He was beautiful and extraordinary and I was completely ordinary. I had nothing to offer him. I blinked back my tears again as I scribbled down my English homework quickly. I was in the middle of explaining how Shakespeare treats death in Romeo and Juliet when my phone rang. I looked across at the caller ID and was surprised, and a little exasperated, when I saw it was my mom. I wasn't particularly feeling up for a lively conversation and chit chat this evening and my mother wasn't one to ever encourage wallowing. She would try and cheer me up and that would be even worse. I answered anyway though because I knew it wouldn't be fair to ignore her and she'd get worried.

"Hi mom."

"Hi Bella sweetheart. I miss you," she said quickly.

I felt so lonely and homesick suddenly listening to my mother's voice through the phone. It unexpectedly made me cry.

"I miss you too mom."

"Oh honey, what's wrong?" she asked, worriedly.

I rolled my eyes at myself for getting so teary and overly emotional, as I wiped away my tears with my hands.

"I just missed your voice is all," I said in a quiet voice

"Oh Bella, I miss you so much darling. Why don't you come back home for Christmas? We can spend it together and catch up."

Suddenly that sounded like the best option in the world. Lounging in the sunshine in Jacksonville, trying to get a tan and listen to Renee chatter about her latest endeavour in arts and crafts. However I knew I couldn't leave Charlie alone. Although he was probably used to it by now after all these years.

"I can't leave dad, mom. It's my first Christmas with him," I said reluctantly.

Charlie didn't exactly look like the decoration making, Christmas enthusiast and I imagined it would be a very subdue, completely _boring _day, but it wouldn't be fair to him if I left.

"I suppose you're right. But you can come after Christmas day maybe? Spend New Year's with me? Please Bella sweetie."

"That sounds nice," I said, smiling.

"Oh that's wonderful! Were going to have so much fun together…"

I only half listened as Renee talked excitedly about all the things we were going to do when I visited. She needed very little prodding on my end and my thoughts kept wondering over to Edward Cullen, even though I tried not to think of him. It hurt to think he didn't care for me beyond the basic caring a teacher was supposed to give. I didn't want to be like any other student to him. I wanted to be his exception and I knew that was incredibly selfish of me, but I couldn't help it.

"…and then there's this lovely little antique market I want to show you. You'll love it, it has all these incredible little trinkets and souvenirs there."

"That sounds amazing, mom," I said, paying attention again, "Look, it's getting kind of late. I have to go now."

"Okay darling. You've made me so excited by agreeing to visit honey. I love you, talk to you soon."

"I love you mom."

I hung up and put my homework away. I showered and got changed for bed and then I went downstairs for a while to watch TV with Charlie. I wasn't interested at all in what was on, but it was nice to not be alone.

"How have things been at school with those girls, Bells?' my dad asked suddenly.

He said it quite awkwardly and as a general rule we didn't really talk much about my personal life, but I knew he must have been quite concerned for him to ask me this.

"Things have been much better dad. My er…teacher had a word with them and I think things are sorted now."

"That's great," he said, smiling, "Was it Mr Cullen your English teacher?'

I nodded my head. Why did he have to be so perceptive sometimes?

"I like that teacher a lot. I'll have to say thanks to him at some point."

"Oh, no, dad that's okay. Really, he doesn't mind."

I was mortified at the thought of my dad thanking Edward for stopping people from bullying me. How embarrassing and I looked over as he raised an eyebrow, but ended up just shaking his head and smiling.

"I remember when I was at school. I suppose things haven't changed much," he mused, settling comfortably back into the couch.

I didn't suppose he started to fall in love with _his _English teacher at school though and in that sense things had changed a lot.

I lay back on my bed, counting the cracks in the ceiling. What I felt for my teacher was obviously more than school-girl affection and even I knew that. I'd never been interested in boys before, but now…well he wasn't even a boy. Edward was all man. I'd swatted away all attempts at boys and dates and romance throughout my seventeen years. I just wasn't interested in any of them, nothing drew me to them. I knew it wasn't exactly normal for a seventeen year old to have never had a boyfriend, but I'd never been very normal anyway.

My preference for spending Saturday nights curled up with Jane Austen and Hardy instead of parties should have told anyone that. I'd never been on a date either and it had never really bothered me… until now. Now I felt inexperienced and completely unaware of how to let somebody know I liked them. I didn't know how to go about this sort of thing. I wasn't like most girls and boys my age and I knew that. I didn't want boyfriends for the usual reasons most teenagers did, namely social status and sex. I wanted to feel loved and cared for and I wanted to have the intimacy of being with somebody I was completely in love with, someone who completely loved me back, the person I'd do absolutely anything for.

I know that probably sounded completely cliché and I sounded like a love-struck fool, but that's how I felt and I couldn't help it. My dad and mom had never had that love between each other and I was aware of that. Growing up, Renee had had a lot of different boyfriends, but they never had the kind of love you read about in books or watch in movies. I always dreamed of having that epic kind of love when I grew up. So far, my only encounter with even the faintest trace of the foreign feeling was with my English teacher who only felt sorry for me. No, it had to be more than that. I couldn't believe he didn't care at all. He stroked my hair and carried me! I could still feel his arms wrapped around me and feel the intensity of his gaze on mine and I didn't want to let that feeling go. I didn't want him to get into trouble, but I wanted to be close to him again. I had to be.

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	6. Chapter 6 - Beautiful Shades of Green

Chapter 6: Beautiful Shades of Green

**Hi guys, so here's chapter six for you! Even if it's kinda late. But it's longer than all the chapters i've done before so I hope that makes up for it. I LOVE this chapter so much and I hope you guys do too. Thanks again to my amazing beta for this story mrsalicehale1 and as always make sure to leave reviews telling me what you think.**

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It was Monday morning and I'd slept through my alarm clock. Now I was in a complete frenzy as I tried hurriedly to make it to school on time, without landing myself another detention. I pulled on my jeans frantically at the same time I was trying to run a brush through my hair.

"_Crap," _I muttered to myself.

This was not good. Nothing seemed to be going right at the moment with my life. Jeez, why hadn't I woken up on time? I tried to think back to last night, my brain still kind of foggy with sleep. Then I remembered. I'd been up half the night trying to finish all of my homework. I was intelligent, but the work was hard and my mind had been preoccupied with Mr Cullen all week. I couldn't stop thinking about him and truth be told, I didn't ever want to. It had piled up again and I'd had to stay up late.

I quickly flung a jacket on and grabbed my bag not even bothering to check if I had the correct books in it. I was out the house before I could even blink.

I got to school fifteen minutes late. My first class was English and I walked into Mr Cullen's lesson with everybody staring at me. I must look a mess. I hadn't even had time to look in the mirror. Mr Cullen looked at me expectedly. I gulped.

"I um…woke up late."

I didn't have any other excuse and I didn't bother to try and find one. The truth would have to work.

'Take a seat Isabella," was all he said.

I cringed. Was he mad at me for being late for his lesson or was there another reason for his brusque words and attitude? I knew he'd been ignoring me the past few weeks. I hurried to my seat at the back quietly and sat down. I got some murmurs of disapproval from the rest of my class and I could hear hushed whispers as I tried to find my copy of Romeo and Juliet. I tried to block them out, but I was getting more and more flustered as I emptied the contents of my bag out on the table. I rummaged through my things and realised with frustration that I must have left it on my bed last night. Could this day get any worse? I could feel tears spring to my eyes and I hastily tried to hold them in and keep them at bay. Mr Cullen assigned the task and then everybody was busy working and I could see him watching me from his front desk. I raised my hand slowly, hesitantly and he immediately came over to me.

"Isabella, what is it?"

"I'm sorry, I forgot my copy of the book" I murmured.

He smiled gently and his eyes were bright as they regarded me. I felt my insides warm at that sweet simple gesture. I had no idea if it meant anything to him except from a friendly smile but it meant a great deal to me. He came back with his own copy of the play and set it down in front of me.

"You can use mine," he said warmly.

"Thank you, sir."

The rest of the class was uneventful. I tried my hardest to concentrate on my work. The last thing I needed right now, along with everything else I was feeling, was for my grades to be down. Everybody hurried out when the bell rang but I lingered around a little longer. I was not in any hurry to go to gym. When I walked up to the front of the class to hand Mr Cullen his book back, his hand brushed mine when he took it from me. We stared at each other for a long minute before I realised that I was going to be late for gym and needed to go. I turned my back to leave, but then I felt a warm hand reach out and grab my arm gently. I spun around, surprised. Edward was holding onto my wrist and I could not contain the shudder of pleasure his touch brought to me. He pulled me closer and I let out an almost audible gasp when his hand lightly rested just above my hip. _Was this really happening? _Surely not. No, this was just a very vivid figment of my over active imagination. I'd fallen asleep last night because I was so tired and this was all a beautiful dream. Mr Cullen could not be looking at me with such an intense caring gaze and his hand could not be on my hip and…

But I could smell his delicious scent and I could feel where his hand was burning into my skin and I knew this was not a dream. My mind could not conjure up something that felt so real.

"Isabella," he spoke my name softly as he looked into my eyes, "Is everything all right?"

He was speaking to me again! He wasn't ignoring me, he was speaking to me again and he was touching me. He wanted to know if I was all right. A tiny little light bulb went off in my head and my heart lurched. _He cared_.

"I'm fine. I was just up late last night studying," I assured him.

His eyebrows knotted together in a small frown and I wanted to smooth out the crease along his forehead and wipe that frown away, but I refrained. I was still stepping on dangerous territory no matter how much I tried to rationalise things.

"Are you finding anything difficult?" he asked.

"Not exactly difficult, there's just a lot to take in and the amount…is piling up," I said exasperated.

"I can help you," he said almost immediately. "With anything, any subject. It doesn't have to be English."

I was taken aback as I looked down at the floor. I slowly shifted from one foot to the other.

"I can't ask you to do that" I said quietly.

I would feel like I was taking advantage. Like I was just basically _giving _him my work to do.

"You didn't. I'm offering."

He stood up then and I was almost pressed flush against his chest. The closeness even more apparent in this moment. I couldn't think properly and I opened my mouth several times to say something, but I could not get the words out. Edward was a lot taller than me and he looked down into my eyes as his hand pressed a little firmer into my hip.

"Think about it Isabella. I _want_ to help you, in any way possible."

"Okay."

My knees almost buckled and I finally tore myself away from his gaze.

"I have to go now, I'm late," I said as I fumbled quickly out of his hold

I was out the door and down the corridor to change for gym before I even comprehended what had happened. The day dragged on and now that I was away from Mr Cullen I was able to form partly rational thoughts. The way he touched me in class earlier, that was not the touch of a friendly student teacher relationship. While that thought thrilled me it also terrified me because anybody could have walked in at that moment. It could have been another student who forgot his book or a member of staff coming to see if everything was okay. That could _not_ happen again. Not here, not at school. I would not risk Edward's job or his future. I shuddered at the thought of what would happen if he were accused of…doing inappropriate things with an underage minor. The consequences would be horrific, did he not realise that? Somehow, I don't think he did.

At the end of the day, as I was walking out to my truck Angela ran behind me trying to catch up.

"Bella, Bella wait!"

I turned around to face her and she looked flush from running.

"Are you okay?" I asked her.

"Yes, yes I'm fine. I wanted to ask, if you're not doing anything this afternoon, would you like to come shopping with me?"

I tried my best to stop my face wrinkling up at the idea of shopping, but Angela noticed and linked her arm with mine.

"I know shopping isn't exactly your favourite thing to do, but I really want you to come with me because guess what?" she asked, her eyes were practically sparkling.

She looked as if she was going to burst out of her skin with excitement.

"Ben asked me out on a date! Gosh, can you believe it. Like an _actual_ date. Bella I'm so excited and I need you to come and help me pick out an outfit?"

How could I refuse?

"Of course I'll come" I smiled, enveloping my friend in a tight hug. "I'm so happy for you, Ben's a great guy."

"I know right I'm so excited! Thank you Bella. Don't worry we're going to have so much fun!"

And she was right. Believe it or not I was actually having fun _shopping_. My least favourite activity in the world, but somehow being with Angela made it enjoyable. I stopped off at home first to leave a note for Charlie and then Angela drove us down to Port Angeles. We had an early dinner at a bistro and then paraded around the shops shopping and laughing and trying on clothes. I hadn't really had many friends back in Arizona so it really was a pleasant change.

I was sitting outside the dressing room waiting as Angela tried on another dress. She assured me that this would be the last one. She already had a ton of shopping bags, but she said she wanted a wide variety. Besides, what if Ben wanted to see her again and they went on more dates together? It was getting dark and I knew Charlie would be getting worried. I sent him a quick text to assure him I would be home soon. When Angela came out in a blue halter neck dress I told her it was beautiful and that she should get it.

"I feel awful," she said, on our way back to the car after purchasing the dress.

"I've dragged you round a ton of my shops and you hardly got anything for yourself!"

"Oh it's fine Angela," I said, rolling my eyes, "I don't really like buying things for myself. I don't have that much money, but I got some new jeans."

"Well, the next time somebody asks you out on a date we'll go shopping _just _for you okay?"

"I don't think I'll be going on a date anytime soon," I said, as we got into the car.

Angela started to drive when she turned to me with a mask of surprise on her face.

"What do you mean Bella? Of _course _you'll date. Lots of boys at school are interested in you."

"I'm not really into the whole dating thing," I said smoothly.

It wasn't a lie. I'd never dated before and I wasn't interested in any of the _boys_ at school. One very beautiful man however…no. I was not going down that road again; especially in such close proximity to Angela. _Nobody _could know of that.

"You've never had a boyfriend before?" she asked. We were driving now and night had started to fall.

"No."

"Or been on a date?"

"No" I blushed at my lack of experience with boys.

I literally had none, zilch, zero, _nothing_. My English teacher was the first male that had ever even _touched_ me.

"Don't worry Bella," Angela smiled, "I've never had a boyfriend either and I've only ever been on two dates with this boy in seventh grade. One of the dates was a study session at his house so that doesn't even count."

I smiled, I guess that made me feel a little better then.

"Yes. Jess and Lauren used to make fun of me all the time about it. I think you can guess just _how_ experienced they are," Angela said knowingly.

I nodded. I think I could.

"Do you _want_ a boyfriend Bella?" Angela asked softly.

Images of Edward Cullen flashed through my head. I could picture us walking together, hand in hand, with his arm wrapped firmly around my waist. He'd bend down and kiss my hair and run his fingers through it. He'd gently tilt my head up and then he'd kiss me softly and tell me that he loved me.

I tried to snap out of my fantasies quickly. I needed to stop reading 19th century English literature and imagining myself as the heroines of the novels. However, if the closest I could get to Edward were through my fantasies and my imagination, I'd take it.

"I suppose…I'm not really looking or anything," I told Angela, who I realised was still waiting for my reply.

"If the right one comes along then…" I trailed off and she nodded in understanding.

She didn't ask any further questions and I was beginning to feel very grateful of our friendship. She wasn't like most other girls our age; she was like me. She didn't pry for more information than you were willing to give or gossip endlessly. Angela was a very good friend for me and I suddenly hoped I was to her too. When we pulled up to my house she hugged me goodbye and I told her I'd see her tomorrow. It was almost 9 o' clock when I got in and Charlie greeted me in the living room.

"Hi Bells, did you have a nice time?" he asked, not really looking up from the TV. He was watching some fishing programme I knew he enjoyed.

"Yes. I went shopping with my friend Angela and we had dinner," I told him.

He smiled, "I'm glad to see you're making friends honey and everything is okay at school?"

"Yes, dad"

"That's good."

"Well, I've got some homework to finish off so I'm going to head upstairs to bed now" I said.

"Goodnight Bella, sleep well."

After saying goodnight to Charlie I went upstairs and showered before getting ready for bed. As I was brushing my hair slowly in my mirror I started to think about my little encounter with Edward today. He insisted he wanted to help me with my subjects and I really wanted to let him, but I couldn't risk anybody thinking he was being inappropriate with me. People… they just wouldn't understand. They _couldn't _understand because they'd never experienced it themselves. All they would see is that I'm a minor, a child, and Edward is a grown, responsible adult who was abusing his position. They'd label him the most obscene things and I couldn't bear that. I'd have to tell him he would have to tutor me after school, preferably on Fridays when all of the other teachers left early. When I finished getting ready I tried to work on some homework, but I was so tired that I ended up falling asleep on top of the covers with my lamp on.

I got to school early the next morning. I'd had a very good night's sleep and I couldn't remember any dreams or even if I'd had them. I'd had time to pack my bag thoroughly this morning, do my hair and makeup properly, and pick out something decent to wear. I wore my new jeans. Angela met me before school and passed me a coffee she'd picked up on the way here. I was extremely grateful for the sweet gesture and I revelled in the feeling of finally having a friend. After my English lesson Mr Cullen asked if he could have a word with me and since it was the last class of the day I was hoping maybe I could linger around a little. I took extra time packing my bag and making sure every last person had left the class room and the corridors before I got up out of my seat and made my way over to Edward.

"You asked to speak to me," I said. I couldn't help the small smile that was playing on my lips.

"I did," he smiled back, but his smile was much more beautiful than mine could ever be.

I was momentarily dazzled by his immense beauty. He was sitting faced away from his desk and he reached out for my hand again to pull me closer. This time he placed _both_ of his hands on my hips and I think I forgot how to breathe. How did he evoke such intense feelings in me?

"I wanted to know if you've considered my offer to let me help you with your work?" his thumbs made soothing gentle patterns and I could feel the warmth, even through my jeans and sweater.

"I have but…" I looked around the room and glanced outside of the window to make sure nobody was around. I blushed and gestured to his hands with my own.

"This…what you're doing. What if other people see?"

"Nobody will see my sweet Isabella," he removed his hands and I felt disappointment at the sudden loss of contact.

My mind was reeling at the fact he just called me _his _Isabella. He dragged a chair across the room in front of him and motioned for me to sit down. I did.

"I would never want to do anything you're uncomfortable with," he said seriously and his eyes bore into mine.

"I'm not uncomfortable, Edward," I rushed to reassure him and I moved my chair even closer if that was possible. "I like it very much."

He smiled a crooked smile and my insides melted.

"I care for you deeply, Isabella. I would never do anything to harm you or anything you didn't want but…I don't want to stay away from you any longer. I _can't _stay away from you any longer. I've tried because I know it's not right."

He took my hand and ran his fingers over my palm soothingly. On instinct, I grabbed it and pressed it gently against my face. He caressed my cheek and I closed my eyes, leaning into his cheek.

"I know it's wrong, well my _mind_ does," he continued, "but tell me, Isabella, does it _feel _wrong? In my heart I know it feels right."

"It feels right. Completely right" I confirmed.

It did. Absolutely nothing about this moment felt wrong. People would construe it as being something dreadful, but I didn't. And Edward didn't. And that's all that mattered.

Reluctantly, he pulled his hand away after gently running his fingers through my hair and he sighed.

"I suppose we should get on with some of that work of yours that keeps piling up," he grinned.

I grimaced. Homework was the _last _thing I wanted to do right now.

"I know you don't want to, but it's necessary," he chuckled, taking my hand in his again.

I entwined my fingers with his own and we watched our hands play together.

"I know, but can we do that tomorrow?" I asked. "Can we just spend some time together for now?" I had no idea what all of my bravery was coming from, but I decided to embrace it.

"We can, but you should still get some books out, in case anybody wanders in."

Once my books were spread out on his desk and I was sitting right beside him, he took my hand again and it felt like the most natural thing in the world to me. I gazed into his deep eyes and was in awe at what a beautiful shade of green they were. Light, with flickers of amber, but they were so deep. It felt like I could look right into his soul through them.

"Your eyes are so beautiful," I murmured, blushing when I realised I'd said it out loud. Edward just smiled though.

"Nowhere near as beautiful as yours."

"Pftt," I rolled my eyes, "They're just a boring brown, yours though…" I reached up with my free hand to trace just underneath his eye, "…yours are much prettier. They're green and deep."

"Brown is not boring. You have doe eyes, Bella. Beautiful, big doe eyes."

"You called me Bella," I flushed.

"Do you prefer Isabella?"

"I don't mind. You can call me whatever. Isabella sounds much nicer coming from you though."

He grinned, happy to have heard that and I scooted closer. If I moved any closer I would be almost in his lap. _Get a hold of yourself Bella,_ I tried to tell myself, but I didn't want this moment with Edward to end. Ever.

"Tell me about yourself Isabella. I want to know about you."

"What do you want to know, Edward?"

"Everything."

"That's a little bit vague don't you think?" I laughed.

"Okay then, let's start with something easy." He pretended to be deep in concentration and I waited patiently.

"Your favourite colour?"

"It usually varies," I told him. "Today, my favourite colour is green."

He smirked.

"Your favourite book?"

"Wuthering Heights," my reply was automatic and he scrunched up his face in what I could only place as disapproval.

"What's wrong with Wuthering Heights?" I asked, feigning offence.

"They're horrible selfish characters Bella, honestly," he rolled his eyes, "how could that be your favourite novel out of all the brilliant novels in the world?"

"It's romantic," I insisted stubbornly.

"Are you a romantic Bella?" he asked.

One of his hands moved up and cradled my face and I sighed at the contact. I could feel him lean in, I could smell his breath wash over my face as he gently – so gently I couldn't even be sure he _did it_ – placed a fluttering kiss on the underside of my jaw. My breathing hitched and I could hear my own heart thumping wildly. I was so lost in my own daze and pleasure that I realised he was probably still waiting for an answer.

"I guess so, but," I stammered trying to find my voice, "I wouldn't know."

He pulled back to look at me once more and I was surprised when I saw he was frowning.

"What do you mean you don't know?" he asked.

"I've never had a…I've never been, I wouldn't," I flushed, not finishing my sentence.

Edward seemed to understand what I was saying and he took my other hand too now.

"What's your birth stone?"

"Sapphire"

"Your favourite flower?"

"Roses."

I knew it was the stereotypical girly answer, but they were my favourite. They were so beautiful and I loved them. Not that anybody had ever bought me any, but I knew what they looked like and Renee used to grow a few in Florida. That was in her gardening phase, of course.

"Favourite piece of jewellery?"

I raised my eyebrows at him. _Flowers, gemstones, jewellery._ Where was he going with this? He just smiled at me. Beautiful. Perfect.

"I don't really own any jewellery," I confessed.

It was the truth. I had a few pairs of fake earrings and a necklace Renee had bought me when I was about twelve, but they couldn't count.

"What do you dream of doing in the future? What's your passion Bella? Where do you see yourself in, lets say, ten years?"

_With you,_ I wanted to say, but I refrained. I didn't want to scare him away with my wild fantasies.

"I don't know. I love literature. As long as I'm doing something involving that then I think I'll be happy. I like to write," I confessed.

"You write?" his face was full of awe and interest.

I nodded. I'd never confessed that information to anybody before, but with Edward, telling him these things felt as easy as breathing.

"What do you write?"

"Poetry? I don't know, just anything that comes to mind. I always wanted to write a book one day."

"I'd love to read your poetry some day Bella and _when_ you write your book, I'll be the first to read it."

"I'd like that," I smiled.

Edward and I talked for hours, but I could have talked to him forever. He asked about my family, my time in Arizona, and my childhood. He asked me everything. I told him that _I'd _be the one to quiz him next time and he told me he still had a thousand more questions for me. I was thrilled at the knowledge of him being so interested in my life, of which he wanted more. I would answer all of his questions in a heartbeat.

When I got home that evening Charlie was engrossed in the television and didn't comment further when I told him I'd stayed behind to study. As I lay in bed I thought about how relaxing it was to live with Charlie. He completely understood me. We both weren't really talkers and that never bothered us. We lived peacefully together. Living with my mother was so different. She'd bombard me with gossip and girl talk and questions all day every day, unless she was out for the day or night with one of her boyfriends, of course. As I fell to sleep I couldn't help but thinking how much better I was suited to Forks.

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**Tell me your thoughts. xoxo**


	7. Chapter 7 - Xmas Angels

**Please please please don't hate me. I've been super busy but it's here now with TWO pov's as a reward for being so loving and patient and understanding. Thank you so much to my readers. Without further ramblings here is chapter 7 my favourite so far…**

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Chapter 7: Xmas Angels

I stayed after school with Edward three days a week until it was time to break up for Christmas. If I'd had my own way, it would have been everyday but we couldn't afford to make anything look suspicious.

I was on my way to school wearing my jeans and a new t-shirt I'd bought with Angela a few days ago. Today was the last day before we broke up for a month and I had been dreading it. I wouldn't be able to see Edward for such a long period of time and I didn't want to be without him. He just made everything better. He'd helped me so much with all my work, I was completely caught up – even ahead of the rest of the class and our conversations were so meaningful. We talked about anything and everything. They were the very best part of my days and I was upset to be away from him.

I made my way through school and Angela and I promised to meet up next week to go Christmas shopping together. At the end of the day I stayed behind as usual, pretending to catch up on work and when most of the students had filtered out, thoroughly excited to be finished – I went to Edward's office. I knocked, out of protocol behaviour and he knew it was me. I went in straight away and shut the door behind.

"Bella, come here" he said to me.

I hadn't had English since first period so it had been a few hours since I had seen him. He looked very tired and worn and I wanted nothing more than to comfort him. I went over to him quickly where he was seated behind his desk, a stack of papers before him and a red pen. He opened his arms for me and I immediately fell into them.

I whispered, "what's wrong?" quietly into his ear

He pulled back slightly and I sat down on the chair next to him feeling disappointment at the loss of contact.

Edward turned his chair round fully to face me and I sighed when he cupped my chin in one of his hands and his eyes met with mine. Even with the tiredness etched onto his features, his eyes were still sparkling and he was still the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.

"It's the last day of term" he said to me quietly.

I nodded in acknowledgment.

He pulled his hand away and sighed. I didn't want to hear him sigh unless it was in contentment so I moved closer to him and held his hand in my own. It was warm and felt like it was made to fit there. Edward closed his eyes for just the briefest second before opening them again to look straight at me.

"How do you feel about that?" he asked

"Scared" I admitted truthfully. "Scared and sad that I won't be able to see you for so long."

I blushed at my honest bluntness but I didn't want to lie with Edward. He could see straight through me.

"Me too Bella" he assured me and I couldn't help but feel a little relieved that he felt the same. If he even felt a fraction of what I did, that would be reassuring.

After Mr Cullen and I had confessed our mutual interest in one another that day after school, things had been good. As good as they could get, given our predicament. I stayed behind and he helped me with all my work and we shared light touches. Mainly cheek caresses and handholding and forehead kisses but it had been perfect. I wouldn't have changed it for the world but I could no longer deny that there was a part of me which yearned for more. More was impossible in our situation, I knew that.

Outlawed

An atrocity

Forbidden

Why was there a small voice in my head that was actually _intrigued _by the idea of that? I wasn't abnormal I knew that. Didn't every teenager want to break the rules once in a while in one way or another? Challenge the social norms and the good-girl stereotypes? Granted, most teenage rebellious affairs involved parties and drugs and outrageous behaviours. Not exactly having a romantic affair with your high school English teacher.

I didn't think of it like that though. Call me naïve but I saw forever in Edward. I didn't exactly know what forever meant but I knew that Edward Cullen was the definition of the word. I could only hope he saw forever in me too.

"Can we text each other?" I asked, flushing. I couldn't believe I was asking for his number but I didn't really have many options. I wasn't quite sure I could go so long without even _talking _to one another. He didn't know it, but he was my very best friend. My world. The days were so long without him.

He eyed me warily for a second and my never-ending insecurities immediately started to rise. I stood up and flushed.

"I'm sorry, it was stupid of me to ask" I said quickly. "I will see you after Christmas Sir."

I tried to banish the tears welling in my eyes as I turned to leave but then Edward grabbed hold of my arm and pulled me back into him.

"Don't be silly you beautiful oversensitive girl" he said to me. He stood and pulled me into his chest before wrapping his arms around me in a tight hug. He smelled wonderful and I just wanted to stay there forever.

"Of course you can have my number" he whispered into my hair. "Just…make sure you save it under a different name and don't let anybody see your phone okay?"

I nodded into his warm sweater. We both knew we would have to let go soon but I didn't want to. I never wanted to.

Edward was the first to regretfully pull away and we exchanged numbers.

"You're going to spend Christmas in New York with your family right?" I asked. I remember him telling me that last week.

"I am."

We looked at each other for a moment and I knew I needed to leave soon. A teacher was bound to walk in at some point and I couldn't exactly pretend I was doing homework for hours on the last day.

"I almost forgot" Edward said and I was confused as he turned toward his desk and started rummaging through papers and pens. When he pulled out a little Christmas present wrapped in red with a silver bow my eyes widened.

"Merry Christmas Isabella" he said and took my hand to place the pretty little box in it.

"Edward…I didn't know…I didn't get you anything" I said trying to give it him back. "I can't accept this."

"It's just a Christmas present Bella. If you really want, you can give me something after Christmas. Just please accept this, I want to give you this. It will make me happy."

I sighed and looked down at the present in my palm. I would accept it and be grateful if it made Edward happy. I put it into my bag and hugged him again.

"Thank you"

"You're welcome."

"I'll text you tonight"

"I'll text you back"

"I'm going to miss you"

"Me too Bella, me too."

oo

I missed Edward a lot but I tried to stay in the Christmas spirit. As I predicted, Charlie wasn't much of a holiday celebrator but this year I'd forced him to come with me tree and decoration shopping. He'd agreed out of his fatherly obligations and now, on the 24th December, our little home looked like Santa's grotto. I suppose I'd gone a little overboard but after years of living with Renee, I was prone to a little overkill sometimes. Plus, Christmas was genuinely my favourite time of the year. It was all sparkly and happy and everybody seemed to be in a good mood.

As I fingered the TV remote, sitting on the couch watching a movie with my dad, my thoughts flashed to Edward and what he was doing. It was almost 9pm, was he spending time like I was with his family? I knew his favourite sister was called Alice. Was he laughing and joking around with her?

_What are you doing right now? _I texted him.

I waited anxiously for a reply and when my phone bleeped 3.25 minutes later my heart lurched. Every time he had texted me since we'd exchanged numbers I felt the same familiar tingly feeling. Mr Cullen had unhinged me.

_Alice is making us all watch ELF. She does this every year. I wish that you were here to watch it with me instead._

I couldn't contain the smile that broke out on my face. I hoped Charlie was paying attention to the movie and not his smiley teenage daughter grinning down at a phone screen.

_I like ELF. It's so funny. I wish that I was there with you too._

I texted Edward throughout most of the movie. When it was finished I burrowed it into my pocket and pretended to look up.

"That was good" I said out loud.

Charlie looked at me suspiciously and then smirked a little.

"Don't pretend you've been watching the movie Bella. I've saw you grinning at your phone for the past hour."

I blushed. So much for my failed attempts at sneaking.

"Are you talking to a boy?"

"Dad" I said, mortified now.

"Sorry, none of my business" he said holding his hands up in surrender.

I didn't answer.

He looked at me again.

"Did you meet him at school?"

"Dad! You just said it was none of your business!"

"I know. But I need to find out a little bit right? Does he go to your school?"

"No, there is no boy" I whined.

"Alright, alright. If you say so."

"I do say so."

I got up and declared that I was going to bed.

"Billy, Jacob, Sue and her kids will be round at about noon Bells" he said to me.

"Sue your girlfriend?" I teased

Now it was my dad's turn to look embarrassed.

"She's just a friend Bella."

"Sure she is" I smirked. Billy, Jacob and Sue were my dad's friends down from the little Indian reservation in La Push. Apparently it was Jacob who had owned the truck my dad bought for me. I'd seen them around a little the past week. They'd come to watch the game with my dad. They should be good company for Christmas but Jacob was around my age and he was a little too smiley for my liking I thought. I shrugged and went upstairs.

At 12:00 Edward phoned me.

"Merry Christmas my sweet Isabella" he murmured

I felt all warm and tingly inside.

"Merry Christmas Edward"

"You can open your present now"

I reached under my pillow where the little box had been dwelling for the past week and tried to open it with one hand. I finally managed and I gasped when I saw the signature little turquoise box with a white ribbon tied on it.

"Edward" I started

"Don't say anything. Just open it."

I pulled the ribbon and lifted the lid.

Inside was the prettiest necklace I had ever seen.

A deep blue sapphire hung from a silver chain encased in a sphere of sparkling diamonds. A tear escaped my eye as my fingers brushed over the hard texture. Nobody, not even my parents had ever gotten me something like this. I'd never been given gifts as beautiful as this.

"Edward it's…I can't even…it's beautiful. Thank you so much"

I was speechless. At a loss for words.

"I'm glad you like it" I could practically hear the smile through his voice. "I wish I was there to see your reaction."

This necklace…what did this mean for us? Edward and I hadn't exactly put a label on our relationship due to it been so unconventional but now?

"I love it Edward. Honestly, it's perfect."

"I miss you Bella," he said and I detected a hint of sadness in his tone.

"I miss you too Edward."

I'm sure the same sadness was in my own too.

It was dark now and I was tucked underneath my covers. I closed my eyes and tried to imagine that he was here with me this Christmas.

"I'll phone you again tomorrow evening. You can tell me all about your day" he said to me.

"Okay" I whispered.

I didn't want to hang up.

"Sweet dreams my beautiful Bella."

_Sweet dreams echoed throughout my mind all night. Like a lullaby._

oo

Edward POV

Sick. Wrong. Disgusting. Pervert. Surely that's what I was. What the rest of the world would deem me as. A monster taking advantage of an innocent teenage girl. My mind told me these things all the time but it seemed as if my heart was in constant battle with it. My heart told me that what I felt was pure. Innocent. Beautiful.

Bella is so beautiful. So innocent. Intelligent. I swear she knew more about books and poetry than I did. God…I didn't know what to do. I couldn't believe I'd bought her that necklace from Tiffany's. If anybody found out, I shuddered at the thought. I knew she didn't have much…I just wanted her to have something nice to open on Christmas. She deserved the world. I just wanted to give her a little token of my deep affection toward her.

I saw Alice watching me all evening out of the corner of her eye as we watched the movie. I knew she knew I was texting Bella.

Rosalie, my sister in law rolled her eyes at me. Even though I knew how much Emmett loved her, we'd never really gotten along. I thought that she was vain and shallow. She thought I was arrogant. Needless to say, not exactly friends.

Emmett had married Rosalie 5 years ago and she was three years older than him. Emmett was the oldest out of my siblings. He was 31 and Rose was 34. I tried to be easy on her, I knew they were trying for a baby. Things weren't working out so well for them but she made it increasingly difficult to be civil to.

Then there was Alice and I. I was the middle sibling and little Alice was the youngest at 24. Lastly there was my brother in law Jasper who Alice had tied the knot with last year. I approved of him. He was good for her.

Both Emmett and I were foster children to our parents Carlisle and Esme. After finding out that they couldn't have children, they'd seeked refuge in us. We were adopted when I was two and Emmett was 6. They couldn't bare to separate us, we were all each other had. Our parents both died from an illness and we had no other family willing to take us in. We only had an Aunt and she was blind and lived in Canada. Clearly not in a fit state to raise a toddler and a young child. I was happy enough though. I wouldn't trade my parents for the world. They were brilliant. Alice had been their little miracle a few years down the line and their only biological child. It didn't make us any less real though. I knew they loved us all equally.

"New lover Edward?" Rosalie asked.

I glared at her as 5 other pairs of eyes then turned toward me.

"Oh Edward" my mother beamed, her eyes twinkling "is it true?"

She was such a hopeless romantic.

"What? No' I shook my head, dismissing them all. Alice shot me a painful look. She was the only one that knew.

I saw my mother's face fall in disappointment. I knew she thought I'd never be able to find anybody. That maybe I just wasn't capable of love anymore.

Memories of Tanya started to surface and I tried to bat them away. Tanya was my first real girlfriend. I met her in university here in NYC and we were on the same course. She was tall and strawberry blonde. All smiles. She seduced me really. Our relationship lasted almost 4 years. I always thought that she'd be the one I ended up marrying and having children with and I really believed I loved her but looking back, I didn't love her at all. I held more feelings in my heart for my seventeen-year-old student than I _ever_ did for her.

But at the time it was everything. Tanya was everything to me. I actually planned on proposing to her.

It was a Saturday night in winter. Winter was her favourite time of the year and I'd drove us up to Canada just so she could have snow. I remember taking her out to dinner at the hotel restaurant and glaring at the French waiter who was making googly eyes at my soon to be fiancé. After we ate, I told her I'd be gone for a while and I left her in the hotel room confused but intrigued. I wanted to do this perfectly. There had been a little lake not far from the hotel and it was frozen over from the snow. With the sun setting, it was the perfect place to do this. I set up lights and everything.

Story short, when I went back up to the room to get her – she was naked with the French waiter on top of her. In our bed. She was still screaming and moaning beneath him and hadn't even registered that I'd came in.

Heartbroken would be the understatement of the century. It felt like somebody had drained my body of oxygen and I was drowning inside myself. I willed it to be a dream but it wasn't. Oh god, it was all too real.

We were history after that. I found out that the waiter wasn't the first and I was destroyed. She'd played me. Alice was my rock throughout everything.

Tanya tried to grovel and apologise of course but I finally saw her for what she was. Through it all, the worst part was knowing that she never loved me. I was a tool. A pawn in her games to hierarchy and success. I meant nothing to her and so I'd ran away. Away from my family, away from the memories, away from everything. I travelled for a few years. Alice actually encouraged me too, to get away from everything. I was teaching and living in hotels. Life on the road. I finally found myself settled in Forks and as much as Tanya hurt me, I would never regret it. All of the pain led me here, to Bella, and although our relationship wasn't exactly under ideal circumstances, I wouldn't want it any other way. I wondered what would have happened if I hadn't found Tanya cheating. I would probably trapped right now in a loveless marriage. We'd probably already have a child and would I have realised too late I didn't love her? No. I didn't regret anything for a second.

"It's time you found somebody Ed" Emmett said, bringing me back to the present.

"Mmm"

I didn't look up from my phone. Bella had just sent me another text.

_I like ELF. It's so funny. I wish that I was there with you too._

I smiled. I could just picture her wrapped up laughing at the movie.

_I'd love to see you laughing outside of those school walls _I confessed to her.

I would. I wished I could take her out and give her the proper relationship that she deserved.

She quickly texted back _me too Edward _and I continued to text her through the night. When the movie had finished and the family dispersed to do all their own things, Alice cornered me as I poured myself some red wine in the kitchen.

"Were you texting Isabella?" she asked.

I offered her a glass. "Would you like some wine?"

She accepted and took a sip before speaking again.

"Don't try to be evasive with me Edward Cullen. Was it her?"

"Yes."

"Are you missing her?"

"So much" I confessed.

Alice looked at me softly.

"Tell me Edward, how has your relationship been working?"

"She sees me three times a week after school. I help her with all of her work and sometimes, well most of the time we just talk."

"Is that the only time you get to see her? In school?"

"I can't exactly take her out on dates Alice" I snapped, reaching for my wine again. Didn't she know what I wanted for Bella?

"I know, I'm sorry Edward. I just…can't you take her to your place?"

"Did I mention her dad was the chief police? Do you _want_ me to get arrested? Alice, there's nothing I can do but wait until she finishes."

I really didn't think that Alice understood the seriousness of the situation.

"Edward that's a horrid idea" she said determinedly. "By then she could fall in love with the captain of the football team. She's a teenager, she won't wait forever and be okay with after school homework dates Edward."

"Bella isn't like that" I insisted but I couldn't ignore the nagging feeling that maybe she was right. Would Bella be content with the way things were? Did she want more?

"I don't know what to do" I sighed, taking a seat at the table. I put my head in my hands.

"Edward, you over analyse absolutely everything" Alice said taking a seat next to me. "Things don't have to be as difficult as you're making them."

"They do" I looked up at her into those earnest powder blue eyes. "Even if I quit and then started a relationship with her, everybody would still know. I could still be questioned. Not to mention that a grown man of almost 28 dating a child would cause quite the outburst. Forks is a small town Alice. Everybody knows everything."

She didn't answer for a second and she looked in deep thought. I really needed to make more time for my dear little sister. I honestly have no idea what I'd do without her.

"Well, you just have to keep it a secret until Bella graduates and goes off to college" she finally said.

"How?" I asked. "These homework dates…they're not enough Alice. Bella deserves more than that."

"I know. It will be hard Edward but it's going to be worth it, I can just see it. Drive her out of Forks on dates, have her at your house. If anybody ever finds out say you're privately tutoring her though I doubt anyone will. Just try, you have to try."

She was right of course. She was always right. I had to try and be what Bella deserved. I was much too selfish to let her go.

"I just want you to be happy Edward" she said to me.

I smiled at her, thanking my stars I had Alice for a sister.

"You don't think…you don't think this is wrong though? You don't think I'm a creep right?"

"Sure, it's a little unconventional" she shrugged "but I don't think it matters if it's real. I know this isn't something you do. I know you're not attracted to young girls, it's only Bella."

"Only Bella" I confirmed. I'd never felt this way about anybody before.

"There's no age limit on love I don't think. When it's right, I believe you just _feel_ it. You do love her don't you Edward? Tell me you love her."

I pictured Isabella in my mind. The curve of her smile, that glorious blush. Those big pools of chocolate doe eyes. I pictured her laugh, her small hand in mine. How her hair was so soft and always smelled of strawberries and the way she felt pressed flush against my chest in a warm embrace. So small and delicate and beautiful.

And then I thought of the way she made me feel anytime she complimented me. Anytime she stroked my cheek or nuzzled my neck. I thought of the way I felt when the boys tried to hit on her. Anger. Jealousy. Protectiveness. Then there was the times when she'd completely nail something in class and a surge of pride would wash through me at her intellect.

Bella made me feel alive. Like there was a reason to get up and go into work every morning. Like there was a reason to eat and breathe. The reason was her. Did I love her? I didn't even have to think about it.

"Yes. I love her."


	8. Chapter 8 - My First Kiss

**Hi guys, thank you for the motivation! I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as I do. Might be the last…fluffy one for a while. Things are about to get a lot more complicated.**

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Chapter 8: My First Kiss Went A Little Like This

Christmas was surprisingly really good in Forks. Charlie had so many friends from the reservation that we were hardly ever alone. There was so much laughter and chatter and merriness. I liked the company. I also had many people to appreciate my cooking and not just Renee who didn't even know the difference between a turkey and a chicken. They all wolfed it down and sang their praises which in turn made me very happy.

A few days after Christmas I went to Arizona to spend New Years with my mother and Phil. She quizzed me endlessly on friends and boyfriends. She made me go shopping and then actually on New Years night we all went to this huge firework display in Phoenix which was rather beautiful. I loved the exploding colours. They lit up the sky and made everything feel magical. My mother was so excited and full of life. I observed the way Phil looked at her and the little things he would do for my mom like open the car door or hold her waist when she was wearing heels. I decided that he was good for her. She needed somebody who would take care of her and take charge of her crazy sporadic behaviour. Somebody who could keep her grounded and love her unconditionally. Thinking about the way she had found her special someone had my mind drifting back to Charlie. He had been alone for far to long and I knew that he liked Sue, no matter what he declared about them being 'just friends.' I resolved that when I got back, I was going to do a little matchmaking for my elusive father.

All in all, I really enjoyed my holidays much more than I ever thought I would. I just missed Edward. I missed his smile and his touch and our long talks. I missed his presence and his company. My feelings for him were endlessly deep.

I got dressed on Monday morning, the first day back in a new skirt and sweater ensemble my mother had bought me for Christmas. I was a little nervous in it, it wasn't the kind of thing I usually wore but I wanted to look nice for Edward. I left my hair down in its usual style as always but I put my necklace on carefully. I held the pendant in my hands and I was scared to wear something so delicate and expensive. I'd never owned something so extravagant in my life. It was beautiful though and if I didn't wear it, Edward might think I didn't like it which certainly wasn't the case.

When I pulled up to school, I was jittery and bursting at the seams. I was half an hour early and I rushed to my English class. I couldn't contain my excitement. My heart almost stopped when I saw Edward standing writing something out on the chalk board. He had the most amazing back, did I ever mention that?

I shut the door quietly behind me, hoping to surprise him, but of course it slammed and made Edward turn around.

"Bella" he breathed

I practically ran toward him and he lifted me off the ground to hug me to his chest. My arms wound around his neck and I nuzzled there just breathing him in. His arms were wrapped tightly around me and I could feel his lips in my hair murmuring my name.

"I missed you" I whispered into his neck

"You have no idea."

We pulled away all too soon and he set me back on my feet. Our eyes were all over eachother, reacquainting ourselves and then his hand came out to hold my necklace in his fingertips gently.

"It looks even more beautiful on you then I imagined" he smiled

"Thank you."

"And you look absolutely delectable in this skirt"

I blushed.

I leaned forward to hug him again. His hands rested on my hips and I was beginning to think he had some sort of fascination with that particular body part of mine. I was fascinated with all of his body. Every part was my favourite.

"I'm staying after school today" I told him. I wanted to hear all about his holidays and I wanted to tell him about mine too.

"Of course."

The smile on his face was so breath-taking that I felt as if I would actually swoon. I knew in that instant that he was just as happy to see me as I was to see him and that made me happier than anything. I closed my eyes when his hand cupped my chin and relished the feeling of his skin on mine.

I could honestly say that I was completely unprepared for what happened next. I suddenly felt myself lifted slightly again, warm hands on my waist and then Edward pressed his lips to mine.

I felt like I had died and gone to heaven, carrying this magnificent angel along with me.

Divinity

Magical

Breath-taking

So soft and warm yet firm at the same time. He kissed me gently. Once, twice, three times. I kissed him back and I had no idea what I was doing but I let Edward set the pace. I followed his lead and melted into the kiss, letting my body take charge.

It was over all too soon and I found myself back on my feet, swaying slightly and feeling dizzy like I'd just fallen from cloud 9.

"Careful love" Edward said, righting me and I looked up at him through my lashes.

"You kissed me"

"I did"

"Are you going to do it again?"

"Do you want me to?" I could see the edges of a little smirk forming around his lips and I nodded eagerly.

He bent again and pressed his lips back to mine and I sighed, moving my own in time with his. Oh wow. I never ever wanted this moment to end but unfortunately it did. When the bell rang we sprung apart and I leaped for my seat. I sat there panting heavily as I got my books out and I could see Edward chuckling slightly. I blushed and looked away.

A few minutes later the rest of the students started to bustle in and then Edward started the lesson. I couldn't concentrate on anything, I was so overwhelmed with what had just happened that everything seemed like a blur. I could not believe that I'd just been kissed. I'd never been kissed. I had never felt anything like it and I wanted to do it over and over again. It was all I could think about all day.

I was so caught up in myself I didn't notice anything or anybody else all day. At lunch, Angela turned to me with a smile on her face.

"What are you smiling about?" She asked through a mouthful of sandwich

"I'm not"

"Oh come off it Bella. I've never seen you this happy. What happened?"

I turned to face her wanting to spill everything but knowing that I couldn't breathe a word.

Life sucked sometimes.

"I don't know, I'm just in a good mood you know?" I told her. I took a bite of my apple and tried to ignore the warm fuzzies and butterflies in my stomach. Angela eyed me suspiciously but dropped the subject and then we continued to talk about our holidays. She asked me about my necklace, thinking that it was beautiful and I told her it was a present. Which was the truth.

In gym later on, Mike Newton paired himself up with our team and it seemed the Christmas break had done him well. He was even more cheery if that was possible.

"Hi Bella!"

"Hi Mike" I muttered

"How was your Christmas?"

"It was great"

I tried to keep my conversations with Mike to a minimum. It was best not to lead him on and I didn't want to be mean. Unfortunately though he just never seemed to get the hint I wasn't interested in that way.

"Are you doing anything this Friday?" He asked, blue eyes wide and sparkly. Daring to be hopeful.

"I...I'm visiting my friends in La Push" I lied. I wasn't going anywhere on Friday except from my bedroom and they weren't really my friends on the reservation. They were Charlie's.

"Oh awesome. First beach is there, it's where we always go when the weather gets warmer. You'll have to join us in summer."

'Mhmm" I nodded idly. Summer was far away. I hope he'd forget by then.

Luckily a tennis ball flying our way saved me and killed the conversation.

For now.

I hated gym. As I was getting changed I was positive I was going to end up in a hundred bruises tomorrow. I was absolutely useless, the tennis balls came flying at me from all angles and now I was sore and miserable.

I couldn't wait to see Edward and I ran to his office as soon as the end of the day bell rang. He was in his chair as usual, pen in hand. He was such a good teacher, so brilliant and caring at his job. My heart swelled with pride for him. I shut the door behind me quietly and he looked up catching my eyes. They sparkled like emeralds and a grin broke out onto his face. What on earth was somebody who embodied perfection doing with a girl like me? He was everything and I was…Bella.

"Hi" I whispered

"Come here"

I was only too happy to oblige. I threw myself at him and he caught me. I felt him kiss my neck as we hugged and his fingers ran through my hair.

"How was your day?" He asked quietly

"Bad. I hate gym. Everybody through the tennis balls at me and I'm going to have so many bruises" I groaned.

He pulled me away slightly to look into my eyes and frowned.

"That's not good. Are you hurt?"

My heart melted. He was so caring and kind.

"I'm okay Edward" I reassured him. "My skin bruises easily that's all."

He nodded and ran his hands gently up and down my arms. The soothing gesture felt really nice.

"So" I began twiddling my fingers and looking down at them, trying not to meet his eyes as I prepared to say my next words. Ever since our kiss this morning, I was trying to figure out a way to say this but I guess the words were kind of getting stuck in my throat.

"What is it Bella?"

I was nervous.

"I…uh" why was this so hard? Everything with Edward was always so easy. Easy as breathing.

He cupped my face in his hand once more, forcing my gaze and I shuddered from the contact.

"Tell me. You know you can tell me anything" he urged.

Those deep endless green eyes. They were so earnest. How could I hold anything back?

"I wanted to know, what we are now" I said a little hesitantly. "Are we like, uh, dating?"

I blushed a little and Edward smiled.

"We can be whatever you want us to be sweetheart."

"I want us to be dating" I confirmed. I moved a little closer.

"I know it's hard and we are in such an impossible situation but I want to be with you Edward. In whichever way I can have you, I want it."

"I know" he said lovingly, caressing my cheek with the pads of his fingertips. "I want it too."

I pressed my lips to his this time and Edward wasn't surprised. I knew he wanted to as much as I did.

We kissed for a long time. It felt like an eternity as our mouths moved against one another softly, learning, exploring…loving. I felt like I was in a dream, about to fly away and I swore I would have if not for Edward's strong hands holding me tightly and securely. His fingers tangled in my hair and I did the same with his. It felt like silk, so soft and perfect beneath my fingertips.

When we pulled away I wanted to cry from the intensity of it all. I was overwhelmed. We stared into each other's eyes, hands still holding on and Edward spoke softly.

"I love you Isabella."

I felt a surge of warmth flood through my body as I absorbed his words. They burned into my skin, my veins, and then finally through my heart. _He loved me._

"I love you Edward. So much."

The words were automatic. I didn't even need to think about it.

He kissed me, harder this time and he pulled my body closer to his. I felt his tongue trace the bottom of my lip and I opened my mouth just a fraction before it plundered inside tasting every crevice. I moaned, holding on tighter and tried to copy what he was doing. He tasted divine. I no longer needed food or water to survive. I could survive on Edward's mouth.

Unfortunately, as human beings, we definitely needed air to survive and I finally broke away panting breathlessly. Edward was breathless too and it thrilled me that we had both been as passionate. I pressed my forehead against his and we caught our breath slowly. Our hands eventually found each other's and they entwined together.

In this moment, it was like nothing else existed. The only things that did were Edward and I, our beating hearts, and our love.

And I never wanted the moment to end.

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**I've figured out, if I do much shorter chapters, I can update like every 3/4 days or so which I think is better so tell me in a review whether you'd rather the shorter chapters more often or the longer chapters not so often. With longer chapters, I'm updating like once every 3 or 4 weeks but with shorter ones it will be a matter of days so tell me what you think. xoxo**


	9. Chapter 9 - The Green Eyed Monster

Hope you like this chapter even if it's a bit angsty. Next chapter will be updated sooner. Please review xoxo

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Chapter 9: The Green Eyed Monster

At around 6pm I left Edward to go home. I didn't want to part with him but I knew that's the way things were. We always had to say goodbye and part, going our separate ways. I could not wait for the days when there would be no more goodbyes. I was optimistic enough that I genuinely believed the two of us _would _see those days.

When I walked through the front door the house was dark. All of the lights were off and I fumbled around, keys in hand as I turned on the light switch. It was cold too so I sorted out the heating quickly. In the kitchen there was a note from Charlie telling me he had to work late today and he'd be home around 11. He said he was sorry. I sighed thinking about the long lonely evening that lay ahead. I couldn't help but wonder if Edward was lonely this evening too and if he was craving for some human company just as much as I was. I wished that I could be with him. I wished that I could be curled up on his lap in the warm glow of the evening light on the couch. We could watch TV or a movie or a read a book together. He could kiss me and not have to worry about unwanted intruders barging in. Without fear or anxiety. Just the two of us in our own little cocoon where nothing would shatter our bliss.

It was strange because before I came to Forks, I was mostly okay with being alone. Sure, sometimes I wished I had friends or siblings or even a dog, but I was okay being by myself. I was independent and I could cope on my own. I knew how to be okay. My mother had always said I was born old and I assumed she was right but here in Forks it was a different story. Ever since I'd had Edward and Angela in my life, boring nights alone didn't satisfy me as much. Not every day. No, I wanted to be with Edward. I didn't know if that was because I was hopelessly in love with him or another reason, but the longing was there and it was persistent.

I set down my bags and then started on my homework as I listened to some music on my iPod. I was feeling a Taylor Swift kind of night, caught up in the musical diary of teenage affairs. A few hours later I ordered a pizza, not feeling up to cooking and ate half of it leaving the rest for Charlie. When that was finished I went upstairs for a shower and changed into my pyjamas.

In my bedroom I looked out of my open window at the cold frosty January night and thought about how quickly the night came and the sky turned black in winter. Tiny little crystals formed on the windowsill and I traced them with my finger feeling the freezing drops turn to liquid on my heated skin.

My phone bleeped snapping me out of my idle thoughts and I lurched across the room for it. I grinned when I saw that it was Edward.

_I miss you_

I instantly replied.

_I miss you too_

_Can I call you?_

_You don't have to ask. Of course you can._

A few moments later he rang and I answered immediately.

"Edward" I breathed. I tried my best not to sound desperate but my breathy whisper of his name sounded like an aching plea.

"Hello beautiful, I just wanted to hear your voice before I go to bed"

I could feel my heart flutter far off into that cold starry night.

"That's so sweet Edward, I wish I was with you right now" I said.

"Not as sweet as you. I long for you Isabella. Sweet dreams my love."

I really did have sweet dreams. And they all consisted of Edward.

oo

During school the next day, I found out we had a new teacher. By lunch, everybody knew who she was. News in Forks spread like wild fire, even the most insignificant thing was press worthy. She was called Miss Cleaver and she was young. Definitely in her twenties.

"All the straight boys finally get their own version of Mr Cullen" Angela said to me at lunch as we watched her stand in the cafeteria line.

I smiled as I took a bite of my sandwich. It was hard thinking about what others thought about Edward, even if I couldn't control it.

"Yeah, I guess so."

"Actually it looks as if her and Cullen are hitting it off already" she said.

That caught my attention.

"What?" I asked

"Yeah look over there," Ben pointed out. "They're all over each other."

My eyes followed the direction that he was pointing at and I felt my heart drop right into my stomach.

"They would make a cute couple. It's not often teachers pair up here." Angela said nonchalantly. She had no idea what her seemingly innocent words were doing to me.

I was barely listening to my best friend. I couldn't take my eyes off that woman as she stood right next to Edward. They were speaking to each other and she was leaning slightly against him. She kept brushing her long hair over her shoulder and flicking it flirtatiously as she wore the biggest smile on her face. Whatever they were both speaking about to one another was obviously amusing because suddenly she tilted her head back and laughed. All pearly white teeth and big smiles. She wore a white gold heart shaped necklace and a tight black skirt with shiny high black pumps. Her hair was also brown and wavy, the same colour as mine and I could feel the tears stinging my eyes. I brushed them away quickly and turned my head. I stared down at my food and felt the appetite i'd had earlier completely drain out of me. I felt hollow and empty.

"Bella are you okay?" Angela asked, breaking me out of my depressing thoughts.

"I'm fine" I lied forcing myself to swallow a piece of apple. It felt like cardboard that was getting stuck in my throat.

Angela didn't look convinced but she didn't press and I tried my best to smile through the rest of lunch.

The pain burned through me.

oo

English was the last period of the day. It went by slowly and Miss Cleaver actually came into the class twice to have a 'word' with Mr Cullen. Her eyes were alive and flirty and she kept doing that ridiculous hair flick thing that I had only ever seen on bad 1990's movies. Edward smiled with her each time and I felt a stab in my chest. What if...what if he liked her?

She was a taller, older, legal and more glamorous version of me. As much as I didn't want to admit it, Angela was right. Edward would be able to be with her without any complications or restrictions. They could go on dates with each other in public and walk around town holding hands. He could introduce her to his parents and she could do the same with hers. People would comment on what a beautiful couple they were and they'd never have to hide out in the backs of classrooms and offices pretending to have homework sessions. Their kisses wouldn't be stolen and they could love with freedom.

I didn't even realise I was crying until I felt Edward's hand on my shoulder.

The lesson was over and the classroom was empty. I was sitting at my desk, my pen chewed to the core and my work unfinished spread on the table. I quickly blinked the tears away and started to pack my bag up.

"Bella? What's wrong?"

I didn't look up to see his face because my eyes were still glassy with tears. His voice held nothing but deep worry and concern.

"Nothing's wrong" I said but my voice was wavering and shaky.

"Don't lie to me."

He placed his hand on top of mine to stop me from packing my bag and the other one came up to hold my chin. He lifted my face so that I had no choice but to look into his eyes. They were anxious and they penetrated through me deeply, bringing out the truth.

"Do you like Miss Cleaver?" I asked.

My voice was quiet. Reserved.

"What?"

He looked genuinely confused but I kept my ground and looked him straight in the eye.

"Do you?" I asked again. I needed to know. I needed to get all of the pain over with in one go because surely this would kill me.

"The new teacher? What do you mean? Yes I suppose. She's a nice woman, very friendly."

I snorted and it was probably the most unattractive thing I'd ever done.

"Yeah, that's one word for it" I said as I rolled my eyes. Yes. Miss Cleaver was very friendly indeed, in all the wrong ways.

"Bella what is this all about?" Edward pleaded. He brought his hands away from me and they rested limply by his sides. He looked dejected and puzzled.

Did he really not see? Did he truly not understand?

"She likes you Edward" I said to him slowly. "It's so obvious, to everybody else and to me. She's been flirting with you all day, how can you not tell?"

I had a hard time believing that he could be so clueless.

His eyes went wide and then he closed them and shook his head.

"Bella I..." he trailed off sighing.

"No. I did not realise. I couldn't tell. Can't you see? I'm not interested in any other woman apart from you. You're the only girl I see. The only girl I want. I love you. I love _you _Isabella."

He stared into my eyes, they were frantic and pleading as he took one of my hands in his. He brought it up to his mouth and kissed it softly.

"I know Edward" I sighed "it's just...I can't help but think that your life would be so much easier if you had a relationship with somebody like her. Somebody who already has a career. Somebody who's grown up and who you can take out and..."

He held up a hand stopping me.

"Is this what this is all about? Me not taking you out?"

I opened my mouth to protest but then I closed it just as quickly. Was it? _Was_ that what this was all about?

I'd tried to convince myself that I was okay with the way things were over and over again. I'd constantly tried to tell myself that this is the way things had to be. I couldn't expect anymore.

But I did.

I wanted to see him outside of these four walls. I wanted to kiss him without the fear of somebody walking in and him getting arrested by my father. I wanted us to curl up and watch movies, go out for dinner, go for long drives. I wanted to go to his house and I wanted to be able to tell everybody about the man that had captured my heart. I couldn't do any of those things and it killed me.

I didn't want to be his little secret.

It was impossible and _God _didn't I know that but it still didn't stop me from wanting it.

"Edward, I want more" I whispered. I felt selfish admitting my desires given our predicament but he had asked for the truth.

"Staying after school three times a week for homework...it's not enough. This isn't how it should be."

"I know this isn't how it should be Bella."

He pulled his hands away and stood up. He started to pace up and down the classroom and I sat silent. Passive.

"God, don't you think I know already?" He ran his fingers through his hair frantically and turned toward me. "How can I give you more Bella? I don't know what to do!"

I stayed silent. I didn't know what to say or how to answer him.

"I want to give you everything Bella and it kills me that I can't."

He came over and pulled me up against him. I was pressed flush against his chest and his hands rested firmly on my waist.

"I love you Bella"

"I love you too Edward."

It was the absolute truth and I loved him with every fibre of my body but something had been lost. I didn't understand what it was and I didn't want to try and think about it now. He kissed me once softly and I kissed him back but then I broke away, creating distance between us. I picked up my bag and slung it over my shoulder.

"I have to go" I said, looking down at the floor at my feet. The mud stain on my converse seemed extremely interesting right now. I couldn't meet his gaze right now.

"You're not staying?" He asked

"Edward, how many times a week can I stay behind with one teacher without it eventually looking suspicious?"

"Bella...I"

"Edward, I have to go."

"This is all about Jessa isn't it?" He asked incredulously. He actually looked pissed. This was the first time I'd ever seen him like that.

I didn't like it.

"Jessa? Wow, first name bases already?" I couldn't help the sarcasm seeping into my voice.

I needed to go.

"Seriously? Why are you behaving so immature?" He shouted

"Maybe because I am!" I fired back as I strode towards the door. If he was going to shout then I was too.

"Maybe you should find somebody more mature then, like precious Jessa!"

I slammed the door on my way out and ran along the hard wooden floor.

I waited until I was in the safe confines of my truck before I let the tears flow.


	10. Chapter 10 - Pain

Hi guys it's me. HUGE THANKS to all the new followers/favourites. Bet you thought I abandoned this story right? Wrong. I've actually been writing the story and I can tell you that it's almost completed. I have about 6 chapters left to write and the rest are all written! I can now have a regular updating schedule, this is the first story I've done this for and I plan to do it for the rest so I can get them finished. I'll be posting on Wednesday's &amp; Sunday's. I hope you enjoy!

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Chapter 10: P-A-I-N

I pretty much cried all night long and then eventually, I cried myself into a dark, dreamless, sleep. I couldn't stomach the thought of eating, nor did I go downstairs to socialise with Charlie. I told him I didn't feel too good and lied about having girl problems.

He left me alone after that, way out of his league with that sort of thing.

I never knew that I could hurt so much. The pain was endless. Jealousy, anger, sadness. All of the feelings seared through me at once, like a hot knife branding my skin.

I was stuck in an impossible situation. It felt as if I was trapped and there was no way out. I was in love with a man that I just couldn't be with. We could not kiss without locking doors and looking anxiously over our shoulders. We could not go out on dates together. We couldn't express our affection, or love, away from the confines of Forks High School's bleak and dreary walls. Edward couldn't hold me on the couch and watch re runs of friends during lazy Sunday's. There was to be no hot summer's days, eating ice cream in the park, Edward's head in my lap as he told me stories of his childhood.

We simply could not be.

I had never given much thought to it before and I wondered if Edward had. I had just gone with the flow and taken each day as it came. I had been grateful for whatever part of Edward I could have but now, so suddenly, everything, every problem, every worry just hit me at once, like a flood.

Miss Cleaver was just one woman. Just one problem. She had no idea that I was in love with Edward or vice versa and that hurt more than the idea of her flirting with him. The realisation of her complete unawareness. Nobody, absolutely nobody knew that Edward and I were together. They could flirt, they could ask him out, they could do anything they wanted and there was nothing I could do to stop it. I had to sit quietly in my seat and watch as women shamelessly flirted with him in front of my eyes.

To them, I was nothing. Just a child. A high school student.

Nobody knew.

Nobody would ever understand.

It was devastating and I felt as if I was drowning in the depths of my sorrow. I couldn't even think properly anymore. All I could see was the darkness of my room, blurred by my tears.

I wished that somebody had warned me that love could hurt so much.

oo

I did not go to school for the next two days. I knew people would say I overreacted and maybe I did.

But I was in pain and I was also feeling a little heartbroken.

The realisation that Edward and I could not be together right now hurt worse than any possible break up.

_Break up._

The words swirled around in my foggy brain as I chewed dry cereal at the kitchen table. It felt like cardboard running down my throat.

Is that what we were? Did we break up? I didn't know. I don't think we did but...

I had no idea if Edward had tried to contact me or not. I didn't want to know. My cell phone lay dead and uncharged at the bottom of my school bag where it had been since Tuesday. I was afraid to turn it on. I finished my cereal and I went upstairs to grab my bag before making my way out to my truck.

Rain was the first thing that greeted me in the cold January Friday morning. It poured down on me relentlessly chilling me through to my bones. I quickly clambered into my car and after several attempts, managed to turn the dodgy heating on. I drove to school and I had absolutely no desire to go there. I did not want to see Miss Cleaver with her paws over Edward. I just couldn't bare it.

Angela was also pulling up when I arrived and she ran over to me enveloping me in a hug. She ushered me under her umbrella.

"Bella, are you okay? You've been absent."

There goes any chance at a perfect attendance record. I knew I needed to get it together. I vowed that I would not miss any more school from this point onwards.

Unless I like, died or something.

"Yeah, I've just not been feeling good. I tried to tell you but my phone hasn't really been working" I lied.

Just a small white lie.

She looked concerned. "Well I hope you're all better now."

"Me too."

I tried to smile but I knew it didn't reach my eyes. I settled for a one-armed-awkward umbrella-holding side hug instead.

oo

The day went by very quickly. I tried to avoid Edward but I had English last period so all attempts were futile. I saw man stealing Miss Cleaver in the cafeteria and Eric pointed toward her.

"She's been stalking Cullen all week" he said.

Angela nodded through a mouthful of pasta.

"Totally cringe worthy."

"I thought you said they made a cute couple" I commented as I stated down at my full plate. I had no appetite.

"I did but I don't think he's into her"

"You sure that's the reason? _Not _because she gave you a C?" Ben laughed.

"Nope, totally nothing to do with it" Angela scowled.

I found out that she taught Angela, Ben and Eric English. She had taken over temporarily from their usual teacher Mrs Hill, because she had left for maternity leave. That just made my mood even worse. Not only was she an older, flirtier, provocative me - but she was also an English teacher. Just like Edward. I had to blink and bite my lip so that the tears didn't fall. I wasn't sure I could handle anymore pain.

When the bell rang I gave Angela a hug goodbye and she promised she'd wait for me tomorrow morning with coffee. I slowly walked to English with no idea what to expect. Usually, I went earlier than everybody else so that I could have a few precious moments alone with Edward but today my feet dragged. I was right on time with the rest of the students.

Edward's gorgeous eyes were on me the moment I walked in. I tried not to meet his gaze because if I did, I knew I'd start to cry. I sat in my seat and quietly listened to him teach, getting on with my work.

I had missed that voice so much. Deep, gentle, and simply lovely. I could drown in it forever. I listened intently and it was noticeable that his usual manner, full of passion and expression, seemed slightly wilted. Like a dying flower. As if the spark had flew from him.

Knowing that I was probably the source of that pain made me upset. Such a beautiful, loving, kind man should never be sad. I was starting to regret everything.

When the lesson ended he asked to speak to me just like I'd suspected. I walked up to his desk after everybody had filed out and his expression was...angry.

"Do you know how worried I was about you?" He started

"Edward I-"

He cut me off by putting his hand in the air, silencing me.

"All I had to go on was that the school said you were ill. I had absolutely no idea what was wrong with you. Do you know how many times I rang and texted you? Emailed you? Why didn't you reply to me?"

His face looked so hurt and I could see how angry he was with me.

"I'm sorry" I whispered, "I just, I was so upset."

"And you think I wasn't? Bella I would never ever ignore you for two days straight. Not ever. I thought...I thought you loved me."

The anger had drained out of his voice and now all I could hear was sorrow. My eyes flashed up to his, my face a mask of horror.

"Edward, I do love you. I love you more than anything. I just, I didn't know what to say. It hurts, it physically hurts knowing that we can't be together the way we should. I hate thinking about what people would say about you if they knew the truth about us. I hate that I have to watch that woman fawn all over you and there's nothing I can do to stop it. And I hate, it's just, I..."

I trailed off as I turned my face away from him. The tears landed on the floor and a sob escaped from my mouth.

I felt his hands on me, turning me around and into his chest. Holding me to his body and whispering softly as I cried.

"Bella, please don't cry," he murmured into my hair.

I couldn't help it. It was like a damn had burst and was now flooding with all of my repressed thoughts and unsaid words.

"I can't," I sobbed. I held onto him tighter. "When I think about all of the things people would say to you and think about you if they knew...they would construe our love as something so wrong and it's not. It's right. It's everything. It's pure and innocent and they would never understand and I..."

I trailed off, knowing I was rambling.

"Shh sweetheart shh." His hands stroked softly through my hair, comforting me. He lifted my face from his chest and looked down into my tear-filled eyes. His thumbs gently wiped away the tears and he caressed my face with the pads of his fingertips.

"Bella, the only people's approval we need is our own. We know in our hearts that what we have is beautiful."

His hand moved slowly, from my face to the middle of my chest, over my beating heart. I could hear it thumping rapidly in my chest like a hummingbird.

"Please don't cry over the thoughts of others love. It doesn't matter about anybody else and nobody will find out. I promise you."

I nodded and I let his words calm and soothe me.

"I can't let you get into trouble over me, I can't Edward I just can't."

"I know but you won't Bella. You won't, I promise."

We pulled away regretfully when we heard footsteps approaching the room. I wiped my tears with my hands and backed away from Edward, just before the man-stealing Cleaver came bouncing into the room.

Literally bouncing. Her shirt was extremely low cut and her cleavage was heavily exposed.

_Slut._

"Um, could you leave please? I need to talk to Mr Cullen," she said pointedly to me with a raise of her eyebrows.

I wanted to claw her eyes out.

"No, she's here to go over the work she missed this week" Edward said. "Isabella why don't you sit down and take your books out?"

Man stealer rolled her eyes but was otherwise unfazed. I did as Edward instructed and he sat back down at his desk. She had the nerve to sit on the edge, black pencil skirt inching up little by little.

I was getting my things back out and she was talking quietly but I could hear every word.

"Edward, I was wondering what you were doing tonight. If you're free, I was wondering if you'd like to grab a drink."

"I don't drink."

"Oh, well then a movie or something?" Her eyes were hopeful.

I wanted to gag. She was shamelessly throwing herself at a man who was clearly not interested. Where was her pride?

"No thank you Jessica, I'm not interested."

"Oh come on Edward" _God, give up already!_ "What else are you doing?"

Edward stood then and walked toward the door. He held it open for her.

"I have tutoring to do. Goodbye Miss Cleaver."

I snorted into my book as she was given the exit and her eyes glared at Edward as she walked out, her high heels tapping against the shiny floor. Edward shut the door and then he turned to face me, his head in his hands.

"I'm sorry Bella," he whispered. "I'm so sorry."

I walked over to him and put my arms around his waist in comfort.

"Edward, its okay. It's not your fault."

He wrapped his arms around me tightly, crushing me to his chest.

"Things won't always be this way Bella, I promise."

"I know" I soothed

"And I'll wait for you forever. There's nobody else I'm ever going to want. You're it for me. I love you with everything that I am, please believe me."

I was overwhelmed by the intensity of his words but I reciprocated them wholeheartedly.

"I believe you. I love you so much. I'll wait too Edward." I promised.

And I would. Time was no object, when my prize would be this glorious man.

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I have tons of followers but you all appear to be quiet on this story. I implore you to review &amp; tell me your thoughts. See you Sunday! REVIEW xoxo


	11. Chapter 11 - Lucky

**Happy Sunday, here it is. As promised. See you on Wednesday! xoxo**

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Chapter 11: Lucky

A freezing cold January turned into an even icier February. The weeks were going quickly and I knew I shouldn't, but I was desperately wishing them away. Every day that went by was another day closer to finally being able to be with Edward.

It was Wednesday, Valentine's Day was on Friday, and Forks High School was in full romance mode.

Fields of red roses, declarations of undying love, and romance in the air. Ha I'm kidding.

There were tacky roses that people send anonymously to their crushes. It was of course, just another popularity contest to see who was the most lusted after and adored. I, of course, didn't want any part of it. When I pulled up to school, bundling myself up tighter in my coat, Angela came bounding over to me with a steaming cup of coffee. This had become our little ritual and I took it gratefully. Today was very cold.

"So Bella" she said, linking her arm through mine. "How many roses do you think you'll get?"

We were walking into the building together and I shrugged, taking a sip of the delicious coffee.

"Um, none?"

Angela laughed. "Don't be ridiculous, you'll get plenty."

"How many do you think you will get?" I asked

"I only need one. From Ben."

She smiled that giddy, I'm completely in love kind of smile and I couldn't help but smile along with her. I was extremely happy for my best friend. Ben was a great guy and I just knew that she'd be in love with him for a very long time.

She always described him as 'the one' and I could completely relate to what she meant. I knew that Edward was the one for me.

School went by quickly and I didn't stay behind today. Angela was coming over to my house to spend the night and I was actually quite excited. I'd never had any friends before who I had ever considered inviting to my house.

I was more of a lone wolf.

Angela came home with me in my truck after school and with Forks being Forks, the night was already closing in. The sky dimming and fading as the sun slunk behind the moon.

We ordered pizza and watched movies.

I had a really good time and it felt good to be able to finally tell the truth about that. Most of my life, I had always pretended I was having fun. Faking smiles, forcing laughs. Just to try and fit in.

I remembered when I was 9, back in Arizona. Kate Mcarlskey, a girl in my class, held her 10th birthday party in her back yard. Her back yard was the biggest I had ever seen and it was the middle of July, blistering Phoenix heat. She had a swimming pool party and I was only invited out of pity. Also, because Kate's mom made her invite _every_ girl in the class. Kate never liked me but I didn't like her either so it was okay. Her swimming pool was big and deep and all the girls were swimming around and splashing in their bikini's having a blast. The parents were sat on the side, drinking martinis and all pretending to like each other. Including my own mother.

As I sat alone, feet dangling over the edge of the pool, I observed the mothers with their sunglasses and fake smiles and diamond rings. I thought about how they all preached to their children that it was okay not to fit into the crowd and be everybody's friend. Not everyone had to like you and it was okay to stand out.

I thought about how that was all a bunch of lies. It wasn't okay to be different. It wasn't okay to stand out. Even grown ups had to be fake. Even grown ups had to pretend. I looked at my mom as she laughed at a joke that was probably not funny and holding my breath, I jumped into the water. I splashed and smiled and laughed and I was so proud of myself. I was pretending. Just like everybody else.

With Angela, I didn't have to pretend to have fun. I just was. And it was great. We sat on my bed, opposite each other in pyjamas with junk food, and she started to talk about Valentine's Day.

"Ben's taking me to Port Angeles for dinner because the food sucks around here" she said through a mouthful of Cheetos. "Except these of course, these are heaven."

She popped another into her mouth and I laughed.

"What are you guys doing after dinner?" I asked. I was busy munching on popcorn. Salt of course.

She blushed and I was immediately intrigued.

"What? You have to tell me"

"Well, I'm not sure it's going to happen, but I think I'm ready."

I didn't understand. "Ready for what?"

She rolled her eyes and set aside the Cheetos. I reached across for them and we traded.

"Geez Bella. You're even more clueless than I am! I'm talking about sex!"

She said the last word as if Charlie could hear from his bedroom where he was snoring fast asleep. Hushed and whispered.

My eyes went wide.

"You're going to have sex with Ben?"

"Shh, don't say it so loud!" She said flapping her hands, but then she smiled again.

"I don't know. I want to but I don't know if he's ready."

"Never mind him, are you ready? Like completely one hundred per cent sure?"

This was a huge deal.

"Yeah, I think I am Bella."

She lay down on her stomach, chin in the palm of her hands and got that dreamy, far away look she had whenever she thought about Ben.

"Well, only if you're sure" I mumbled.

"I am. I love him and he loves me, what's the point in waiting?"

I could see her point but still, it was a big step.

"Aren't you scared?" I asked mimicking her position and lying down too.

"I'm nervous but that's expected. I know it's going to hurt. It's my first time and it's his too."

I nodded. I thought that it was very sweet that they were going to be each-other's firsts. My mind fluttered off to that perfect daydreaming place filled with thoughts and images of my Edward, but I blushed, swatting it away. I couldn't think about Edward like that right now. It just wasn't possible. There was no need to actively torture myself.

Focus on the right now. Focus on the positive.

"We need to get you a boyfriend too Bella. I feel bad that you're spending Valentine's Day alone" Angela said sadly.

Me too Ang, me too.

I rolled my eyes like I didn't care about the ordeal.

"I'm fine" I lied. I wished I had somebody to confide in so badly. I really wanted to tell Angela all about Edward. How amazing and caring and kind and ugh...just everything. I knew that I could trust her. Trust wasn't an issue, but it wasn't just my life. This was Edward's too and I'd never do anything that could possibly hurt him or get him into trouble. Anything.

Sometimes, the thought of him getting arrested and going to jail brought me to tears. It was the worst thought imaginable, to picture his innocent love for me construed as perverted and sick.

The images haunted me.

I stayed silent.

"Are you really? You could always come for dinner with Ben and I, so you don't have so spend the night alone."

Her eyes showed nothing but sincerity and I couldn't have asked for a better friend. Just so that I wasn't alone, she was willing to lug me around on her special night with Ben.

"I can't do that. Having me around hardly sets the prelude for a romantic evening together does it?"

We both laughed. I couldn't think of anything worse than being a third wheel.

"Don't worry about me. I will get to be with my own Prince Charming some day."

I didn't say find because I had already found him.

I grabbed her hand and squeezed it. "I want you to go and have the most amazing time tomorrow okay? And then you have to tell me absolutely everything."

"Everything. I promise" she grinned.

We then watched reruns of gossip girl until we fell asleep.

oo

Much to my surprise, and extreme horror, I received seven red roses by Valentine's Day and Jessica Stanley was livid. She had received six. I was stashing the latest plastic atrocity in my locker when she walked past me with Lauren.

"I hope you don't think that this makes you queen bee" she said, her blue eyes hard and steely.

"All it makes you is a slut" Lauren joined in. "I bet you had to give many favours in order to get all those."

She looked at her best friend and they both laughed together. I rolled my eyes at their jealousy and pettiness. I'd realised that's what it was now. Jealousy. I didn't know why they were envious of me, but they obviously were so I just ignored it. It didn't bother me. I put my rose in my locker and stormed away, not even bothering to answer. I wouldn't waste the breath.

So it was actually Valentine's Day today and I was feeling a mixture of emotions. On one hand, I was extremely happy. Obviously, I had never been in a relationship before so I had never celebrated the occasion. I had Edward now and couldn't wait to see the look on his face when he opened his present.

On the other hand, we could not do things other couples did at this time of year. We could not have a date or go out together and it hurt, but I tried to stay positive. At least I got to see him and that had to be enough.

"I sent you a rose Bella" Mike said to me in the cafeteria. They had this strawberry ice cream today, in the shape of a heart, and a little bit had gotten onto the corner of his mouth. I decided not to tell him.

"That's very sweet Mike" I replied.

"Are you doing anything tonight Bella? Do you have a date?"

I internally rolled my eyes. Did boys ever give up or was it just Mike? Was he my equivalent of Miss Cleaver?

"I'm visiting family friends" I lied, referring to the reservation.

"Aw come on Bella. It's Valentine's Day," he said with an exaggerated eye roll, as if Valentine's Day was the most important thing to have ever existed.

"Mike, can we just be friends?" I asked him seriously. "You're a great guy, when you're not asking me out" (which is never but I didn't say that.)

He looked stumped, dejected, but then he either got over my rejection or decided to wait until another time. I figured that it was probably the latter but I was glad the conversation was over for now.

After school, I bid Angela good luck on her night with Ben and made her promise to text me all the details. I then went straight to Edward's office where he was eagerly waiting for me.

As usual, I fell into his open arms and he held me close to him.

"I missed you" I whispered, finally feeling content as I bathed in his warm embrace. He smelled so good today. Like freshly washed clothes and expensive shampoo and just Edward, all wrapped up in one. I literally wanted to sniff him and inhale his scent all day.

Delicious.

"I missed you too sweetheart."

It felt so good just to hold him and feel his body pressed against mine, his lips in my hair, breath on my skin. Sometimes, I thought that Edward could not possibly be real, and that he was just a product of my very over active imagination. Having him in my arms cemented the fact that he was real. That he was here, and that he loved me, and that I had to be the luckiest 17-year-old girl in the world right now. I must have done something right for God to grant me such a perfect gift. I vowed to treasure and cherish it forever.

When we pulled back to look at each other he kissed me and I stood on my tiptoes, arms thrown around his neck - just trying to get closer. The kiss was heavy; Edward's hands were in my hair, on my waist, on my hips. I moaned into his mouth, overwhelmed by all of my senses reacting at once to his touch. He felt divine and I never wanted this moment to end.

"Happy Valentine's Day love" he murmured against my lips. His eyes were so bright, they looked excited and his smile was doing funny things to my body.

"Happy Valentine's Day Edward" I said quietly, urging him with my eyes to kiss me again.

"I got you a present."

"I got you one too, do you want to open it now?" I asked

His lips were back on mine, kissing softly, hungrily, and when Edward broke away he shook his head, lips lingering on my forehead.

"Not now love. I think that we should wait until later to open presents."

I looked up at him, dazed and confused and slightly breathless.

"Edward...I don't know if I can wait that-"

He cut me off with a kiss. He was kissing me a lot today and I felt so loved. His hands caressed my neck, my shoulders, and my face.

"Shh my lovely Isabella. Don't worry," he said softly. My eyes drifted closed of their own accord, savouring the feeling of his skin on mine. His touch. His kisses. When I opened them again his own were inches from mine.

"I'm taking you out tonight Bella" he said excitedly, but seriously at the same time. Then added, "well I won't risk taking you out, but I'd really like it if you said yes to me bringing you home."

He looked a little sheepish and my heart did a little stutter.

"Your home?"

Edward nodded and tucked a piece of hair behind my ear.

"I'm going to your house?"

"Yes love" he chuckled "if you want to."

I squealed and Edward could not contain his huge grin as he lifted me off the ground, held me close to his chest, and spun me around.

I had never felt so happy.


	12. Chapter 12 - Valentine's Day P1

Chapter 12: Valentine's Day Part 1

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I was going to Edwards house tonight. I was going to be with Edward tonight. I was going to have my first date, at Edward's house, tonight. I kept repeating this to myself as I drove home, got ready and left a note for Charlie in a haze. I could not contain my excitement, it was overwhelming.

Is this really happening? I asked myself over and over again. Yes. It was. This was really happening.

As soon as Edward told me that I could come to his house tonight I ran home quickly and wrote a note for Charlie. I told him that I was hanging out with a friend (Angela) and hoped that when I got back, he didn't ask too many questions. My dad was pretty laid back so I didn't think he would but I'd have to come up with a little story about my night with my friend just in case.

Now, I was standing in my bedroom with half my closet on my bed, sighing in frustration as I pondered what to wear. This was serious. It was my first time ever being with Edward outside of school. I think that this may just be the most important moment of my life. I knew that I was only going to his house (so floor length ball gowns were out of the question) but it was still important. I didn't want to wear jeans, I almost always wore jeans at school and I wanted to wear something different. I remembered him being very appreciative of the skirt I wore one time and so I decided I might wear one. I only had three so after much deliberation I finally settled on a mid thigh black petticoat skirt and a black tank and pale blue button up shirt. I slipped on my converse for convenience. Bella + heels + first date nerves did not go well. After that was finished, I stood in my mirror deciding what to do with my hair and face. And then I decided to do what I always do to my hair and face and that was to leave my hair down, brushed, and apply some light mascara for fluttery eyelashes. I sat on my bed, a mixture of feelings coursing through me as I twiddled my thumbs and waited. I had no idea what we were going to do but I found I did not care. Anything with Edward would be the most wonderful experience. We would finally be alone together, at last. We wouldn't have to worry about teachers or students walking in, constantly anxious and on edge. I couldn't believe that this was really happening. It was as if Christmas had came early. I hoped very much that Edward liked the way that I looked tonight.

He phoned me to tell me that he was outside, parked a few houses away, at exactly 6:03 pm. I grabbed my bag, which contained Edward's present, locked up and made my way carefully down the path to his car. I was thankful that it was winter and so the sky was fading to black quickly. It was sad to think that we had to sneak around like criminals just to spend time together. I knew my mind was going down that path again and I quickly shook it away. Nothing was going to ruin my first evening with Edward. Nothing.

The car was warm and it smelled lovely, surprisingly floral and he had a nickel back album playing softly in the background. Edward had gotten out of the car to open the door for me with a lingering kiss to my cheek. The gesture was very, very sweet and I told him so. I held his hand on the drive to his house and ever so often he would bring it up to kiss and I would smile at him and he would smile back at me.

Edwards house was about a 30-minute drive from my own and it was kind of secluded though he did have a few nearby neighbours across the street. When we pulled up, I opened my mouth in shock. With wide eyes, I turned to face him.

"Edward, your house is so beautiful"

It really was. It was a lot bigger than I expected it to be and it was all white and big windows and winding pathways. Like a fairy-tale.

"Not as beautiful as you" he murmured into my ear as he helped me out of the car. "You look absolutely stunning tonight Bella."

"Thank you" I said holding onto his hand tightly, still entranced by his house.

We ushered inside quickly and the first thing I smelled was a heavenly aroma of some kind of delicious food. Edward helped me take off my jacket and he hung it up as I took a few steps into the gorgeous house.

I was walking on dark wooden flooring and turning right, the walls opened up into a big beautiful living room. Flat screen on the wall. Coffee table, fluffy Persian rug and long chocolate leather sofa's. He even had a roaring fireplace and I thought about how that was the epitome of my romantic fantasises. Us curled up on the floor in front of the fire together. Edward keeping me warm on a cold starry night. The decor was all antique wood with a modern twist of gold's and browns. Woodsy, earthy warm colours. Exactly how I pictured Edwards house to be. A perfection reflection of him. I almost didn't hear him come up behind me, I was too busy running my fingers along his bookshelf but I soon felt his arms around my waist and his lips in my hair.

"Bella, it feels so good having you here love," he confessed.

I turned around in his arms and smiled. Edward's eyes were so bright and so s_o _green. Endless depths of green. How was it possible that somebody's eyes could be so endlessly green?

"It feels good to be here Edward. It's like I belong here, with you."

It did. It felt really really good to be here with Edward, here at his house. Finally. This is the more I had needed. The more I had craved. But I could not deny that a part of me felt...somewhat nervous. I was a little nervous of Edward's expectations of me this evening. I thought back to mine and Angela's sleepover last night and the conversation about her and Ben kept replaying in my mind.

Edward must have sensed my slight falter.

He took my hand and led me over to the couch. We sat side by side, face to face and he gently cupped my chin in the palm of his hand tilting it up slightly.

"I know what you're worried about" he started but I shook my head.

"Edward it's nothing -"

He cut me off. He held my face in both of his hands now, thumbs making tiny little caresses that felt much better than they should have.

"I know what you're worried about Bella but it's okay." He moved one hand down to rest just above my waist. "You don't have to say it. I just want you to know that you do not have to do anything you're not ready for. I promise you, that isn't why I brought you here."

He kissed my forehead and stroked my hair and I could feel myself relaxing with his gentle soothing words.

"I brought you here because I want to spend Valentine's Day with the woman I adore. I want to cook you dinner and talk and watch a movie with you. I want us to spend time with one another outside of that classroom. I want you in my home, with me. We don't have to do anything my Angel, I promise."

I let out the breath I had been unknowingly holding and my eyes fluttered up to meet Edward's. He called me his Angel. I think that's just about the sweetest thing anybody has ever said to me.

"It's not that I don't want to it's just that I..." I stuttered and trailed off blushing cherry red.

"What sweetheart? You can tell me anything, you know that" Edward encouraged.

His eyes were hypnotising. Dazzling. I was powerless against the magic of them.

"I've never been with...I've never had...I'm a..."

He covered his lips with mine but I could still feel my face burning. He kissed me softly, comfortingly.

"A virgin?" He whispered against my lips

"Yes" I blushed.

He was kissing underneath my chin now, the hollow of my throat and I was having a hard time remembering to breathe.

"Was I your first kiss?"

"Yes."

He kissed me harder then, hands running through my hair and when we both broke away, we were panting.

"I love you so much Isabella" he breathed. "You don't know how happy those things make me."

I breathed a sigh of relief.

"You don't mind?"

I knew that some guys, especially older ones like Edward, may want a girl who was a little more experienced. Who knew what they were doing. Somebody that would please them.

"God no. Bella, to know that I was your first kiss is the best thing in the world. I wish that you had been mine too. If I had known I would meet you, I'd have waited forever."

My arms encircled around his neck and I kissed him.

"I don't mind" I assured him. "It makes me a little jealous, knowing you were with...other women but I also know that it's just me now right? It's just us and you love me."

"Just us Bella. Just us forever. Only you, you're the only one. And I've never been one for sleeping around either. I have only been with two women and they were both long term relationships."

"Two?"

"Just two" he said as he kissed me.

"What happened?"

I realised that Edward and I had never really spoken about our romantic relationships before, or lack of. A part of me hated the fact that he had been involved with other women. I couldn't stand the thought of another women's hands all over him, touching him, kissing him, more...I shuddered at the thought. But I also knew that that part of me was unreasonable. It would be unrealistic to expect that at 27, and as gorgeous as he was, Edward had never been in a relationship before.

"Well, the first girlfriend I had was in high school. Junior year, her name was Emily. We dated until I left for college and she was sweet but I never really loved her. She was the first girl that I...slept with. When we left school, we just drifted away. We thought that it would be better to end on positive terms. It was a mutual decision."

"And the second one?"

Edward seemed to hesitate a little and I brought his face down so that I could kiss him again.

"You can tell me anything remember?" I said quietly

He nodded and his hands came to cover mine. He took a deep breath before speaking.

"Her name was Tanya and I met her at university. We were both studying pre-med-"

"Wait, what?" I cut him off. "You studied medicine?"

He nodded

"But you're an English teacher" I pointed out.

"I studied pre med and then I went to medical school. I didn't do my residency or fellowship. I was too depressed so I went travelling and then…ended up here I guess. I wanted to get away from medicine, from science, from everything that reminded me of Tanya for a while. From my old life. I chose to pursue my second loves for a while, English and music. The plan was never to stay here long. I was always going to be a doctor, just in the future. " He shrugged as if it was no big deal.

I couldn't believe what I was hearing...it was so amazing.

"So you could be a doctor instead?"

He nodded.

"Wow." I couldn't help but feel a little smug. I had a doctor for a boyfriend. How many girls my age got to say that?

He smiled at my enthusiasm and gave me a little kiss before continuing his story.

"Well as I said, I met her on the first day of university. I was 18 and she was a year older. She flirted with me, she asked me out and I guess it all started from there. 3 and a half years later, I planned on proposing to her."

He stopped his story to gauge my reaction. I nodded for him to continue but I could feel a tightness in my throat. _Proposed_. He was going to marry her.

I felt a little sick.

"Long story short, when I went to get her from the hotel I had booked to propose - she was in bed with our waiter, where we'd had our meal."

Edward's eyes were suddenly downcast and the tightness I had been feeling faded away to anger. Whoever this Tanya bitch was, I wanted to kill her. Claw her eyes out for what she did to my beloved Edward.

"Edward" I whispered softly. I climbed into his lap (for the first time) and threw my arms around his neck again.

"Edward, I can't believe that she would do that to you." I pulled back to look into his green orbs. His hair was floppy and I pushed some of it back. How could anybody possibly cheat on him? He was perfection reincarnated, and not just in looks. In everything. His intelligence, his kindness, gentleness. His soul and very essence. He was such a gentleman, so beautiful, so heartbreakingly wonderful.

He pulled me closer to him, our chests pressed flush.

"It doesn't matter now. At the time, it was despairing. I travelled for a while until I finally settled here but now, I'm grateful. I'm so grateful that she did it because I would probably be trapped in a loveless marriage. Bound together by children. I'm so glad that things turned out the way they did because if they hadn't, I may have never found you."

"I'm sorry that she hurt you" I said truthfully "but I'm also thankful. I'm glad that she gave me to you because I would never ever do what she did. I love you so much."

"I know. You're unlike anybody I have ever met Isabella. I want to spend forever with you" he said softly as he caressed my face, my neck, my arms.

"I know that you are incredibly young and this may be a little heavy but I need to tell you. _You_ are the woman I want Bella. There's never going to be anybody else. I want you more than I've ever wanted anything. Our situation is not ideal but I don't care. I love you and I want you by my side always."

"I want that too Edward. There is never going to be anything I want more than you. I've always been mature for my age and the idea of dating around has never appealed to me. I just want one person who loves me unconditionally and who I love more than anything. You're the only person I need."

His response was instinctive. He kissed me with everything he had and I was just as eager. Our mouths moved together in the most beautiful way. Like a melody. So in tune. Our hands found each other's hair and I parted my lips for him. My tongue reached out to duel with his, fuelling the fire. I started to feel things that I had never felt before. I started to fidget. I felt achy and wanting...but what for I wasn't sure.

Edward broke away first and rested his forehead against mine breathing heavily.

"We have to stop."

"No" I pressed myself closer, winding my fingers through his hair.

"Bella love"

I cut him off with a kiss. "Just a little more" I whispered "please."

He nuzzled my cheek and peppered a few chaste kisses there.

"You don't know what you're asking for."

"I do. I'm asking for you Edward."

"I know you're not ready Bella. You're just caught up in the moment love."

"In the moment with you."

He chuckled and kissed my nose before removing me from his lap slowly. I pouted like a petulant child.

"Dinner's ready" he announced and then he left the room, his hair dishevelled and his shirt rumpled. So gorgeous. So beautiful. So mine.

oo

We had dinner in Edward's dining room, which he insisted was only for special occasions. He definitely classed his first date with me as a special occasion. We started off sitting next to one another but 10 minutes in, and I was on his lap sideways, staring into his beautiful face. He kissed my neck between my last mouthfuls of pasta.

"Edward" I giggled "I'm eating."

I held up my fork for emphasis but he just took a bite off it, his mouth lingering on my fork slowly. I pressed my lips to his, tasting the sauce on his tongue.

"That fettuccine was so good Edward. You cook so brilliantly" I murmured, complimenting him. It really was delicious and I couldn't believe he had made it all from scratch.

It made me happy knowing that Edward was not a takeout/diner/frozen meals kind of guy. I would definitely be eating more of his food.

"I aim to please"

"Is there anything you can't do?"

"Probably not" he smirked and I playfully swatted him for being so cocky.

"My dear sweet Isabella, do you want to put a movie on now?" He whispered sweetly against my lips.

I nodded.

"And then I can also give you your presents."

"Presents? Plural?"

"You're a funny little thing when it comes to receiving presents aren't you?"

I shook my head and looked down.

"It's not that it's just...I don't have anything to give back to you."

He tilted my chin up, forcing my gaze.

_So so green._

"You already give me everything, just by breathing, by existing. By letting me love you and you loving me in return."

His thumb grazed the underside of my jaw, which left me feeling tingly.

"I know but, I can't buy you things physically. Like the things you buy me."

That was the reason I was so sensitive about the present issue. Because I couldn't afford to buy Edward extravagant gifts too.

"Love" Edward shook his head at me. "I don't need you to buy me things. I have more than I care too and all I want is you. I buy you things because I can. Because I have the means and I want to. To give you gifts makes me happy. I don't need anything in return Bella. Anything on top of your love is just a bonus."

I smiled then. A really big toothy one and he gave me a smile back, along with a kiss.

"So no more complaining about gifts?"

I couldn't say I'd _never _complain but I gave him a small halfway nod. His lips moved to the hollow of my throat, leaving a trail of fire in their wake. I had no idea I was so sensitive here and a little sigh escaped my lips.

"And you'll let me spend money on you too? In other ways besides gifts?"

"Mmm what do you mean?"

His lips on my skin were making me unable to think clearly but I had a feeling that that was the whole point.

"Like college."

I was alert now and so was Edward. He pulled back a little to study me cautiously.

"Bella, I know that we haven't really discussed our future in depth, but I'm very serious about spending the rest of my life with you."

"I am too Edward, but I can't let you pay my college tuition for me."

"Who else is going to pay it?"

I looked down at my hands. Truthfully, I always knew that going to college was going to be a problem for me. My dad would never be able to afford it and Renee...well Phil wasn't exactly successful. They had enough to give them a nice life but not thousands a year to spare for me. I was going to have to take out loans and then be in debt forever. At one point I had even considered not going because the hassle wasn't worth it.

He nudged my face back up and pressed a kiss to my jaw.

"Let me pay for your tuition Bella"

"It's so expensive Edward."

"Bella, I can afford it. Trust me. I have all of this money and nobody to share it with. Nothing to do with it. It just sits there. If you're so adamant, you can pay some of it back to me when you get a job."

He kissed a trail of small fluttering kiss back up to my ear and I was feeling hazy.

"It could build us a life together. You can go away to college, anywhere you want and I'll follow you. I'll use my medical degree and become a doctor. I'll buy us an apartment, a house...you can stay on campus if you like and have the full college experience. I won't be far."

"I don't want the full college experience" I said against his lips. "I would want to live with you."

Dating. Alcohol. Frat parties. Bitchy sorority girls. The 'college experience' had never appealed to me. Renee was right about me been old for my age. I was always...different from other teenagers and young adults. I just wasn't interested in the things that they were, but neither was Edward and that's why he was so perfect for me. We were kindred spirits. Other halves. Soul mates.

Edward positively beamed and clutched me harder to his chest.

"So you'll let me?" He murmured into my ear.

I was unsure what the future would bring for Edward and I. I knew that we'd always be together, there was no doubt in my mind about that - it was other things. Even when I finished school and I was free to be with him, we would heavily be frowned upon. Everybody would always wonder in the back of their minds if things happened between us while I was still at school. Even if they didn't have any proof. Our age difference would also cause alarm and I didn't even want to think about what would happen when inevitably I had to tell my parents. In particular Charlie. Things would be difficult and we had some tough times ahead but that wouldn't stop me from living right now, in the moment. I wanted to be with Edward but with my situation and my funds, it just wouldn't be possible.

"I'll let you," I whispered.

I would have agreed to absolutely anything for the reaction I received from Edward. He stood up, lifting me with him and spun us around until we were both dizzy.

"Thank you Bella" he mumbled, his lips busy attacking my shoulder with kisses. "Thank you so much."

I really didn't understand what I ever did to deserve somebody like Edward.

* * *

This is a two-parter, it was originally like 8,000 words, something crazy so I had to split it. Review &amp; tell me your thoughts! xoxo


	13. Chapter 13 - Valentine's Day Part 2

**Late, but here it is! Word of warning, this chapter is the first, which really earns it's M rating! Enjoy &amp; review xoxo**

Chapter 13: Valentine's Day Part 2

After dinner, Edward took me on a tour of the house, which I had eagerly been awaiting. He showed me downstairs first. Apart from his kitchen, living room and dining room - there was also a music room, which held a beautiful shiny grand piano (and yes he played.) Up the wooden winding staircase held Edward's bedroom, his large office and two bathrooms. The third floor held two more bedrooms.

Edward's bedroom was everything I expected it to be and more. Light cream colours adorned the walls and deep rich earthly colours splashed their way into the vast space. He had lots and lots of books, blu rays for days, a walk in wardrobe, en-suite, and a huge bed that made me flush a lot.

King sized at least.

oo

Edward had lit the fireplace and we were entwined with each other beneath it on the fluffy Persian rug. Just like my dreams. The fire was roaring and I wanted to stay with him like this forever. We'd devoured a glass of Champagne each, my first ever, and a dozen chocolate covered strawberries. Everything had been the best of the best.

So delicious.

We had exchanged our presents and Edward had been thrilled with the photo album I had gotten him. I had embellished it elegantly with our initials and it was a place to put pictures of us together. A little secret album. We had taken the first picture then and there, both smiling goofily at the camera. I trusted Edward to keep it safe.

He had gotten me a dozen pink roses, each one beautifully grown. The finest silk petals, and they smelled divine. I also received a gorgeous diamond bracelet and a hand-written love letter declaring his feelings for me in his elegant script. It was the sweetest gift I had ever been given and I vowed to write him a poem soon.

The hangover was playing in the background but none of us were focused on the movie. We were way too busy focusing on each other.

"I'm going to have to go home soon" I said breathlessly against his lips. I glanced at the clock and it was almost 9. I didn't have a curfew, Charlie was extremely laid back that way and I was lucky. However, I didn't want to push it and have him asking questions and getting suspicious.

"Mmm, I don't want to let you go"

"I don't want to either" I assured him. His hands felt wonderful in my hair and the fire was heating me gloriously.

As if on cue, my phone rang, and I broke away from Edward to glance at the caller ID. It was Charlie. I put a finger on Edward's lips to keep him quiet and he nodded.

"Hi Dad" I answered

"Bells, I'm really sorry but something serious has come up at work. I'm not gonna be able to make it home tonight."

"All night?"

"Yeah" he sighed. "I'm really sorry, you know I hate leaving you alone."

"It's fine dad, I'll be fine" I assured him

"Maybe you can stay at your friend Angela's or something?" He suggested

"Yeah maybe."

We were silent for a few seconds.

"Well, I should be home in the morning, latest would be around noon. Be careful Bella."

"I will dad, I'll see you tomorrow."

I hung up and Edward looked at me expectantly.

"My dad is working over night tonight. He won't be home until tomorrow."

He grinned and cupped my face with both of his hands.

"Stay with me please. Spend the night with me Bella."

I tried to pretend like I was thinking really hard about it.

"Well..."

He kissed me and rolled us so that I was lying down and he was hovering above me. My breathing hitched just a little and I held onto his shoulders, pushing him down closer toward me. His heat felt better than any fire could ever be.

"Of course I'll stay" I murmured, blushing. It was surreal that I was going to be spending the night with Edward.

oo

We finished watching the movie and Edward announced that he was going to get changed.

"I haven't got anything to change into" I said to him, colour staining my cheeks. He kissed the blush away and ran his fingertip along my cheekbone.

"I have a t shirt that you can have. You're tiny so it will be huge on you."

I giggled when he brushed his face against mine in a ticklish sort of way.

"Okay then" I grinned.

He gave me a lingering kiss to my forehead before leaving to get me some clothe. I got up from my place on the floor, taking a last sip of champagne. This was definitely a life I could envision having with Edward in a few years. I would come back from my classes to our house, and make dinner for the both of us. Edward would come home later from a shift at the hospital, where he was now working as a doctor, and putting that medical degree to use. We would sip champagne or wine in the evening and eat strawberries, curled up together as we talked about how our days went. Edward would tell me about the old lady who has a crush on him, and I would tell him about the bitchy girl in my class who reminds me off Jessica Stanley.

It would be bliss.

Edward returned a few minutes later with a white t-shirt and a pair of boxers. He scratched the back of his head and looked a little awkward as he handed them to me.

"I just thought that since you didn't bring anything to wear...you'd need something on your bottom half."

My heart melted. Edward was unbelievably adorable when he was embarrassed. I locked my arms around his waist and my eyes flickered up to meet his own.

"Thank you."

He smiled down at me and brushed a piece of hair behind my ear.

"I really should have done my English homework tonight," I said as I fluttered my eyelashes. "I hope my teacher won't be mad that I spent the night with my boyfriend."

Edward laughed and his whole face lit up. He looked even more gorgeous if that was possible. He lifted me up and my legs immediately wrapped around his waist.

"Well, Mr Cullen is going to have to have a word with this boyfriend of yours."

"Maybe Mr Cullen can just give me an A anyway," I whispered against his ear where I was kissing. His hands were on my thighs kneading gently. It felt so good.

He laughed again. "Perhaps."

Score. Sometimes there were brilliant benefits of having your teacher as your boyfriend.

Edward let me down and I went upstairs to the bathroom to get changed. He was right, the t-shirt was huge, it came almost to my knees it was so baggy. I put the boxers on too and it felt so intimate to be wearing Edward's clothes like this. I wanted to keep them and never take them off. I also quickly brushed my hair and when I went downstairs, Edward was making me a hot chocolate in the kitchen. In his living room, I busied myself with looking at his photographs and other trinkets. I saw a picture of him placed in a gold frame, smiling that crooked smile of his at his high school graduation. He looked just as beautiful as he did now and it made me wonder what things would have been like if I'd met him back then.

Easier no doubt, but did I really want it that way? I wasn't so sure.

We sat opposite each other on the couch, legs crossed, drinking our hot chocolates and talking. Edward was so much more relaxed and carefree in the comfort of his own home, without fear of people walking in. I was too. When we finished, Edward stood up with me and held my hand as he turned off the lights. He led me up the winding staircase and turned his bedroom lights down low, creating an atmosphere of romance, and I crawled onto the bed sinking into it immediately. So plush and warm and unlike anything I'd felt before.

"This is so comfy," I sighed, turning to lie on my stomach and burying my face in the pillows. "Edward, please let me stay here everyday?"

Edward chuckled and I felt the bed sink further underneath his weight.

"I'd like nothing more love."

He lay down on his side and we were face to face with one another. The moonlight trickled through the window casting us in its soft glow. Our eyes were locked onto one another.

"Are you tired?" He asked softly, reaching out to stroke my hair.

"I don't want this night to be over. It's been the best night of my life," I admitted.

"Mine too" Edward agreed and I smiled lazily at him.

I truly didn't want it to end. I reached out for his hand and he took it, pressing a kiss to my palm. I scooted closer until our legs and arms were fully tangled.

"I've never slept with anyone before" I said.

He raised his eyebrow ever so slightly and I blushed as I playfully smacked him, catching on to my innuendo.

"Not like that. You _know _I've never done that. I mean, just like this. In the simplest sense of the word."

"I know what you mean" he assured me. The backs of his fingertips grazed my cheeks softly. "I love that blush."

That triggered another blush and he grinned. "So beautiful. You're so beautiful Bella."

"You're more beautiful."

He shook his head and motioned for me to sit up, so that he could pull back the covers. We both got back in underneath the sheets. I was so warm and cosy. Edward pulled me to him and kissed me.

It started off slowly and then it deepened. His tongue traced my bottom lip at an agonizing pace, until my mouth opened and his tongue invaded it. He tasted so sweet, so delicious. My favourite flavour. His tongue coaxed my own out and soon they were busy playing with one another. His hands were in my hair, on my hips, my legs, and his kisses went straight to the apex of my thighs. I could feel him everywhere. I broke away panting, breathless, and Edward continued his trail of kisses across my jaw, scattering them down to my shoulders and collarbone. I moaned and rubbed my legs together, trying to relieve the ache by creating friction.

His touch was doing things to my body that I didn't understand. Things that I had never experienced before. Every kiss, every caress, was like an invisible ribbon in my belly pulling and tightening.

I needed him more than I needed air to breathe.

"Touch me," I breathed against his lips when they found mine again. We were on our sides, completely entwined and his hand moved from my hip inching up further and further.

"Yes, please" I murmured.

I groaned when his large hand cupped my breast through the t-shirt and squeezed.

"Take it off," I pleaded.

His lips stilled momentarily and he looked me seriously in the eye.

"Bella, I don't think you're -"

I cut him off by placing my lips back over his.

"Just touch me. Please. You're right, I'm probably not ready to make love right now but I'm ready for you to touch me. I want you Edward."

He kissed me harder, rolling us so that he was on top of me and I could feel his beautifully sculpted body pressed against me in all the right ways. His fingers played with the hem of my oversized t-shirt and I lifted my arms for him to take it off. I wore no bra and I flushed from head to toe as Edward looked at my half naked body for the first time. He groaned and leaned down, his mouth between my breasts, nuzzling softly.

"You're so beautiful Bella. The most beautiful thing I've ever seen, you're just-"

His speech cut off when he wrapped his warm lips around my nipple. I closed my eyes in ecstasy as he sucked and licked, swirling his tongue around in all the right ways. His other hand came up to squeeze and palm my left breast. I let out a needy moan.

"Ahh Edward" I sighed

I had never known pleasure like this. To be touched, to be loved by Edward. This was nothing short of heaven.

"So fucking beautiful," he breathed quietly, as his lips started making their way down lower.

I'm not sure why, but hearing him swear made the ache in my body even more profound.

His tongue dipped and dived into my belly button and he was kissing the planes of my abdomen lovingly. Worshipping my body like a temple.

Edward's eyes flickered up to my own. They were dark with lust and bright with love.

"Bella, can I taste you?"

My eyes instantly widened a little. Did he mean what I think he did? I'd heard about it of course…in magazines, but I didn't think…I couldn't comprehend it. _He wanted to…down there…_

"Please," he pleaded, taking advantage of the silence. His fingers were already hooking their way through the boxers and I was feeling very _very_ hot. "I want to please you this way, I want to taste you love."

His sincerity was palpable and I nodded shakily.

Edward slowly removed the underwear and then I was completely naked. I felt vulnerable, but with his kisses and murmuring's of how much he loved me, I couldn't be scared.

He propped my legs up so that my feet were flat on the bed, my knees in the air. He started with little kisses to my calves first; trailing up further to my thighs. He nudged them apart with his nose and skimmed along the inside of my legs. My breathing hitched in anticipation.

"Breathe sweetheart," Edward reminded me and I nodded. I reached for his hand and it snaked up to grasp my own over my belly.

"You're so perfect," he sighed, reassuring my doubt and self-consciousness. "I can't believe you're really mine."

And then his mouth was on me and nothing else in the world mattered. The sky could be falling and I wouldn't have noticed a thing. The minute his tongue met my aching flesh, I cried out loud and clutched his hand so tightly I thought I might break it. I had never felt anything like this in my entire life.

His warm tongue made lazy circles on my clit and he hummed in appreciation against me, which created the most divine vibrations. Edward alternated between soft licks that grazed my sensitive bud and longer licks over the length of my slit. When he dipped his tongue inside, I shuddered and felt my insides clenching. My legs automatically tightened around his head.

"Ah, Edward, oh…" I whimpered, trailing off. I shut my eyes tightly, trying to breath evenly and control the sensations. My breaths were coming out in little pants and moans.

"I know sweetheart," he murmured and then he took my clit into his mouth and sucked gently.

My hand moved to tangle in his hair and with a scream I shattered beneath him. It was an explosion of sorts. The most indescribable feeling.

Edward continued his administrations for several long minutes, unrelenting, and I could feel my body clenching and tightening again. I grew wet with need and fisted the bed sheets in my hands.

"Edward!" I screamed his name so loudly as he tongued my bud faster and used his fingers to probe my entrance. He entered one, allowing me to get used to the fullness before adding another.

"God, you're so tight Bella"

My back arched and I came again with an earth-shattering cry.

Some time soon, maybe seconds or days later, Edward moved his head from between my legs. He kissed his way back up my body, my belly, my lips, my breasts, and my neck – before finally capturing my bottom lip in his. I looked at him with hazy half-lidded eyes and his beautiful green orbs were smouldering.

"Good?" he asked. His fingers ran through my hair softly.

"Mhmm. Edward that was…god._ So_ good."

He chuckled and leaned in to kiss my jaw. "You taste so delicious. I can't wait to do that again."

I blushed and he laughed, kissing my cheek. My whole body felt unhinged. My bones felt like brand new. It had been the single most glorious thing I had ever experienced. I pulled Edward to me and kissed his throat.

"Can I taste you too?" I whispered.

His hand squeezed my hip and he brushed his nose with mine.

"We have plenty of time for that. It's late and you're exhausted." His fingertip brushed just underneath my eye and as if on cue, I let out a yawn.

"I can still reciprocate," I insisted, but I knew my eyes were closing. I felt so incredibly _good_ and relaxed.

We got back underneath the covers and Edward pulled the blankets over me, pulling me into his arms. He turned the light off and I could feel his breath on my neck. He was fidgeting, and I brought my hand to his face.

"Edward, you need me to reciprocate don't you?"

"It's fine Bella" he insisted.

"It's not. You're uncomfortable. I don't know a lot about these things but that's not healthy right? You can't just…leave it."

"No. I was going to take care of it when you were asleep."

"That's too long. Let me Edward. Let me take care of you."

He finally relented and I got to return the flavour.

I had always been grossed out at the idea of…_blowjobs, _but there was nothing gross about my Edward at all. He was completely perfect and he tasted delicious. He instructed me on how to please him since I was clueless, but with his help, I managed to get him to visit the same paradise I had earlier. When I kissed back up his body he was breathing heavily and he pulled me into his arms and on top of his chest. The skin on skin contact was delightful and Edward splayed his hands over my back.

"Good?" I breathed.

He kissed the tip of my nose and gave my butt a little squeeze, which made me squeal.

"You. Are. Everything. To. Me." He punctuated each word with kisses to my face.

"I love you more than anything Edward."

And then, tangled in a beautiful mess of limbs and skin, we succumbed to sleep.


End file.
